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Review of Mandy  
Review by Robyn
Rated: E | (2.0)
The idea of the piece is interesting but the writing needs work. Short piece can work really well if there are hooks to grab the readers interest.
The voice of the child is believable. You might want to work on the first sentence. It's a little confusing, maybe try something more like "Mandy looked at the empty bed. In her mind she could see Mummy lying there sick. She was always lying there."
Breaking up the sentence gives each part more emphasis and makes it very easy for the reader to understand what you are trying to say.
Jumping from the childs point of view to the father in so short a piece is a little confusing. Maybe it would be better to have to all from one point of view.
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