Amazing! Your love/distaste for your brother's uncomfortable fashion of showing love reminds me of my own
My perfect pick of the piece:
"My one aim was to attain the sleep of R.E.M.
Yet brother Agog had own of-the-night anthem.
Instead of R.E.M, Agog had his own notion;
it turned into R.A.M.--rapid Agog motion.
BRAVO! Just like Robert Frost, it doesn't always have to rhyme, just as long as you can keep it somewhere in time.
My review of this piece is as follows. Keep in mind that my critique may often seem rather terse, while otherwise being lighthearted.
Title and author: [user:kiyasama},
{uThe Catacombs
What I Liked: Kiya, you never cease to amaze me. Your wit and humor are, as always, second to none. For some reason, this is my pick of the piece: Such foul liquor, a cheap imitation of the very brew I cultivated in my vineyards!”
Spelling and Grammar:
Although you surely are quite aware, your competence in all areas wherein spelling or grammar are concerned, I would, though, deeply appreciate your convictions about the usage of apostrophes in non-colloquial settings: Gotta, lemme Lemme know, K?
Emotional Value or Non-Fictional Accuracy:
Sometimes, not often, but especially when referring to a well written piece of this nature, commentary only applies if you're still deathly afraid of Vampires!
Final Thoughts and Recommendations:
What more can I say except keep on doing what you do. So very well.
Incredible, simply enough to make a brown man cry. Who is rich is turned to who is wealthy. Obviously a semi-petty challenge left over from childish meanderings of two equally nascent boys.
Though difficulty may be true, as always, the victor is always the one who is ultimately truthful. But in the end, Clyde got his favorite, best aver, mind numbing, truly crippling orgasm any man could eve...And I believed he loved her.
Author/Title: Amazing! I love the child's aspect but I can also see the perspective from an adult's point of view. It's funny how we can actually learn from our children as they learn from us. No, it's not funny, it is quite serious.
What I Liked: Laughing and playing in a make-believe world where only children can imagine spans from whimsical to down right believable. Almost.
Spelling/Grammar: No literary errors found here, but you can bet your bottom dollar if there were, you and I would be the first to know!
Final Thoughts/Suggestions: Nothing delights me more than reviewing a grammatically correct person who not only makes me laugh but haughtily sigh as well. Yes, you've done both.
Author/Title:Slice of Cake, Slice of Life
It's a regular, boring day. How to fix that? With cake!
by Mr. Javier
What I Liked: Having being a professional chef for the better part of my life, I can see the humor one may find within the irony about making light of typical, yet somewhat consequential circumstances which may occur on any given day. However, it is upon each of us to understand that each day, every moment presents us with yet another opportunity to learn.
Spelling/Grammar: I must say your grammatical skills and spelling acumen are as always quite refreshing to see. Still, my job is to help, not to overlook even such minor miscues such as these:
Rick’s friends all seemed totoo caught up in work to notice. Rick sighed.comma? There he was stuck with nothing to do again. (I see a tendency to allow for too many breaks, [periods].)
Final Thoughts/Suggestions: The last thing I want to do is discourage you in any way from developing your already admirable skills as a wonderful creative author, so keep doing what you do.
Stephen, your unorthodox style of poetic expression is rather, no quite refreshing. Yes, seriously, I see this piece as profoundly out of the box. YEAH! Thus, how can I possibly leave without showing you an example of the nature of my inordinately glowing review of your item, you deserve it. ;
I need to break free but can’t work out,
Where the end end’s and the start begins.
One thing though, leave out the apostrophe ; Where the end end’s is neither possessive nor plural, but purely, singularly, a verb. DARN VERBS!
It's not often I encounter another author whose grammatical proficiency equals such profound and earnest love of being true to thyself. You write what you feel and it's eloquently expressed with poignant passages of tender, heartfelt emotion painted on the tear stained parchment of your soul.
No body does it quite like you do, baby you're the best!
Something tells me, Shibani, that you are most definitely an exceptional person. Somewhere along the way I lost my way, but it's because of beautiful people like you I have now regained my long lost lust for poetry.
Your script is lovely, and your rhyme is that of sweet wine; It reminds me of somewhat like mine. Stay with it, don't lose your way. And that's it.
This is my pick of the piece
All I need is your time, if you can lend,
the desire is to be in your arms, till my life comes to an end
If ever in your life, you feel lonely,
the desire is to be your best friend.
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