"The pages are filled along the way
With words and the thoughts our soul has to say."
i love this part...alot. i think it really explains alot and its true too. i really like this poem. i agree with it. the second line though, is a bit confusing, but since when is poetry easy to interpret. i think you did a really good job on it.
yeah me too. but you cant not need people. i know you may feel that way, but you need someone, even if they hurt u. you'll never know love if you never know hurt
except for a couple spelling mistakes (its alibi, and dying) , i think this poem is amazing. its some thing i can relate to
I built up this wall
Built it up to watch it fall
You are my alliby
i love this part like crazy.
i like this alot. i think its a really really great description of who you are. its awesome. i have no helpful feedback about improvement cuz i think you got this down
i think this is good, but as i read through the poem, it kinda seems like you're trying to hard to rhyme. The first part:
Don't cry no more Baby,
Put your head on my shoulder,
The truth is in the eyes of the beholder.
is my favorite. this just blows me away. but ... actually i like it all, except the second part. i think the second part is a bit cliche, and its trying to rhyme but it just makes the poem seem to drag. overall though, its really good. i hope you take my feedback! Keep writing, you're really good
this is really good. it really...just wow. yeah. so i thought it was really great, but it'd be nice to know, or at least get a couple more hints about what is going on with these two, and how they really ended up together in the first place. i think it'd be even better if you could answer a few of a reader's questions that the suspense creates, without taking away any suspense. does that make sense?? over all its really good though.
I really love this. It reflects what i feel and whats going on in my life. I really like the way you expressed it.The beginning part where fire is waiting for air but only gets a bit of it, not enough of it is really moving in somehow. Its really good, but i think you should add a bit more to the ending, you know?
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/blaze_fuego
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 6:22pm on Nov 05, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
