What an excellent story. It had me gripped from beginning to end, your use of words to hold the readers attention was sublime and delicious.
Have you actually played a game like that? I have heard of one similar, because your story was so well written i thought you'd taken it from experience, just keep on writing like this and readers will continue to read.
Well done
A fantastic Story. I love this sort of thing, mystery and drama, a right mixture of both.
Do these ideas come from within or are you inspired by something you've seen or heard, I tend to think about mysterious events throughout the worl, that's where I get my inspiration from.
Well Done
I was stunned by your descriptions in this story, I like descriptive writing, I think it's what seperates some storytellers apart from others.
Please continue the good work
I think that what you've done here is an invaluable tool to the writer. Making your characters come to life is something I have often struggled with, but I'm going to make a point of printing it out and keeping it in my writing folder, i'll refer to it when I'm in a situation where i need to put things on paper.
Well done
An excellent poem written as you say in ten minutes, but it is full of feeling and thought. I found it evokes a feeling of deep sadness, my first impression is of a suicide pact, or a dying love, still a very thoughtfully written piece.
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