I love Auntie Barbara's Cream Bun's Cafe`! Like you said at the end, "Never a Dull Moment Here!!" I like the way you weave your humor into your stories and make your characters come live. They all have such great characters!! Keep up the excellent work and I will be back for the next entertaining tale.
"Emily was in high spirts.....Should be "say", not 'stay'. What a grand story! I throughly loved every word. The best way to begin a relationship is just like this; with friendship, laughter and not feeling like you need to impress the other person. Too many people rush every date, even want it to be an 'offical' date, but for why?? If it is right, a good friendship is definately the place to start.
Wonderful signatures! Is there a reason you don't use the Wolfwoman as often as the Flower fairy? I think it is very beautiful sig and you should use it more often. I really loved your Holiday tag2, that one is very beautiful and I love the crystal ball between the stags antlers! Of course I will always love your reviewing sig in color, never change that one, it is too perfect!
Mouse needed her friend, Alia in the crystal ball just to help her realize her own self worth. No one grows when always put down mentally and physically. Mouses' Wizard was a dark, uncaring wizard and Alia and Ah'Fez where just what Mouse needed: people to make her feel worthwhile. Then she could learn and blossom under their teachings. I was glad this story had a happy ending.
One of the better poems I have read on this site. Too many people just try to write words when what you need to write is emotions. You did an excellent job displaying your emotions, I felt your love for your special someone so intensely, it was like the two of you were standing right in front of me. Keep up the good work.
An awesome story! At first I was unaware where this, (I thought he was a man) had come from, and then for the Proffessor and Lilith to explain that the bodies around him where from the time of the Crusades, I begain to wonder if this man was a Vampire. But never once did I think he was a fallen angel. You wrote a very scary piece, with the suspense leading up to the very end! Keep up the great writing.
Your lyrics are fantastic. They center around an old shoe box filled with kisses, what is more beautiful than to have your angels kisses near you when ever you want them??? You did a great job here and I can see that evey line came from your heart. Never stop your good works.
A beautiful tribute to one angel that was taken from us too soon. Your story was excellently done in a manor that speaks volumns of emotions. Sadness only when Meghan passes, than wonderment and excitment in putting the song together. I congraduate you for starting the ball rolling in making a CD that should last for a good lifetime, or better. Keep up the good works.
Excellent poem. Packed with emotions that burst out at the reader from the first line until the end! Beautifuly done. We all know that times moves, but we never realize that time moves fast the older we get. Remembewr when summer vacation lasted forever for a 6 year old and how times flies once we enter the work force? Keep up the good work.
Wonderful, you brought out your characters' emotions and pain so beautifuly through your words. The one thing I found missing was the explaination for what the debt was and way she was the one to pay it. Sometimes to make a piece come full circle we need to add a word or a line that explains why the character is such emotional pain. Keep up the excellent work.
Your words speak of love so pure, lasting a lifetime and beyond. As long as we remember our loved ones they never truly die. While your story was sad, it spoke more of a love so strong and unending. I haven't read a piece of work better than this in a long, long time. It is perfect in everyway. Keep up the excellent work!
A wonderful story! The way things used to be is really much better than the strip malls of today. The old shops had personalities of their own; they were not just niches along a long wall with two major chain stores on either end. I can't really remember if I ever used the foot x-ray machine or not, but of all the rest, the wood and metal foot measures lasted the longest. Keep up the good work, this was a very touching story.
You can't let this wonderful story remain unfinished. There are so many ways for it to go. The fact that Dag is the human child makes it even more intersting. You need to find away to get her set up on a good paying job, make her life interesting. She has so much potential. Ah, the Drex, he should find her and set her up, thats the way the story should go.
Not bad at all, Lon, for a first attempt at Science Fiction. I thought you did a very good job and wish you would finish the book. Your words convayed the sorrow of the Drex ex-offical beautifully and with power. You make the reader regret that the Dex were attacked and their race almost erased from the universe.
Great revision checklist! I will print a copy and keep it close at hand. I wish some of the others on this site would read it too. I just tried to read a convoluted story with words all jumbled up. It was hard to follow the story. Most books are written for an eight grade reading level, so that more people can understand what is being said. It is better to strive for readability than to try and impress your reader through run-on sentences with the verbs missplaced.
A wonderfull poem. So may things are hidden, but just like you say, emotions are hidden the most. I got my Bachelors Degree in Psychology and I see the same thing. People spend more time trying to hide their true selfs that they never have time for anything else. Your poetry is always emotionally charged; you get right to the point and leave the reader with a perfect understanding of just what you are trying to say.
Wonderful poem! Your words convayed your emotions very well. That is exactly how another force would wake up in your mind, and exactly how they would feel. I also liked the style you wrote in too; mix of capitalization to make the creature heard and regular words to show how the artifical intelligence felt. Keep up the good work.
You do get a very nice for this. Simple and sweet, there is nothing wrong with that at all. You expressed exactly what a mirror is. We put way too much into what the mirror sends back at our eyes, whether it is good or depresses us, it is still what the mirror sees.
Very good. You expressed the emotions so well for The Duke who of course was going to meet all of those he'd killed. During those times it was the only way to press forward, to meet your ghost and try to repent. The feeling I get is that The Duke is about to die and in order to do so must face all of those he has killed. Not sure what you mean about "tarts" in the last line, although that is a better ending than if you'd said something about taking there hearts. Excellent, I liked your poem alot.
Only one grammer error: When Alia said, "Wizard's don't take apprentices for nothing." In the next sentence the word is "quite", not 'quiet'. Otherwise the whole story was smooth and error free. I thoroughly enjoyed your story, from beginning to end. You displayed the emotions of the girl, Mouse, to a "T", and also her Wizard's lack of caring. Alia and the more powerfull wizards were gems also, so full of luster that they sparkled. I loved your story.
A very well written story about your childhood memories. I really love the fact that you had a skating rink, that sounds fantastic! It never got cold enough in Oregon to be able have an outside rink. You still never learned what was in the 'hole in the hot house', but then again it might just have been the underground water supply to keep the plants looking beautiful. Each sentence ran smoothly into the next withou any spelling or grammer errors. Keep up the good work.
I loved your poem! That is how we feel when we are very young, free as a bird to fly on our own. Your words displayed your wonder perfectly so the the reader could see and feel them fully. It was a great ride, and I know that I will remember your poem for a long time, Keep up the excellent work!
Excellent poem! That is how we all feel when we loose someone. Your emotions sprang loud and clear from your words, for all to hear. You caught me from the first line and held me to the end, both are the marks of a great poem. I expect to see more of your work. Keep up the excellent work for all to see.
What a truthful poem!! When we are born, the world revolves around us, as we grow up, the world still revolves around us. So make yourself count, do good, help other, be a good listener, be honrst. You will make yourself happy, mainly because you need to do these things, and you would be very unhappy if you didn't strive to do good. You will attract people who share your views and then you will have around you people who care. But if you don't try, all will be lost to you. Keep up the excellent work.
A very beautiful poem. You caught me by the first line and made me feel the pain your poem spoke. It is really is an excellent job you have done here. We all know that it is possible, many times for some, not to find the love they need to sustain them. Little do some of us realize that the person we are after may only be what we want at the moment and that years from now we will have to walk away and like another love again that fits with our grown up reality. Keep up the good work.
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