What a beautiful, heartfelt, emotional and wonderful poem. I've had these same feelings recently and wish I could have expressed myself with such an extrardinary poem!
Excellent poetry and visual. I can't see any way that you could improve upon this Shakespearean sonnet. I could only improve by reading poetry of this quality.
I liked this short poem of yours, and I'm sure Michael would have been proud that you wrote it. I tried to find something you've written this year, but failed in my attempt. I like poems that rhyme and this one does that very well. It's good to have friends that remember us, even after death. I do think that a comma after the word mine in the last line would help though. As they say.... Write On! This attempt succeeded very well!!
General Disclaimer: My review is only my opinion, and is only meant to be helpful to you. I encourage you to embrace or disregard my words as you see fit.
Impression of Title: Great Title, and it speaks to the poem exactly.
Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation: All are flawless.
Flow/Rhythm: Good flow and rhythm in this cute poem.
Word choice: The choice of words is just right for this funny poem.
Suggestions: I can't think of anything to suggest for this work of art.
Overall: I see why this poem won first place in the February Senior Center contest, and bieng a member also, I truly understand the content of the poem first hand - keep up the great work!
As I love to review, I love to be reviewed. I would be honored if you read and reviewed one of my poems. You can find one that you might like in my portfolio:
My review is my opinion only, feel free to accept it or reject it. In this case I assume you'll accept it.
My Rating:
Title:
First Kiss
Title Impression:
The title expresses exactly what the sonnet is about, which is as good as it gets.
Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation:
I found no errors in spelling, grammar or punctuation - Very good.
Rhythm and Flow:
The rhythm and flow of the poem is excellent.
Word Choice:
I found the word choice very good and extremely interesting.
Suggestions:
I couldn't even think of one suggestion to improve this very nice sonnet.
Overall Impression:
You conformed to the rules of a sonnet, in lines and syllables/line, and you wrote a very nice poem, although I wish that one time in my life - I would receive a first kiss that could do all those things to me, and create all those wild emotions!
It has been my great pleasure to review your work - I hope you found the review helpful or at least encouraging.
My review is my opinion only, feel free to accept it or reject it as your heart desires.
My Rating:
Title:
I MISS YOU MOM
Title Impression:
The title tells it all, and the body of your work reveals to us, your emotions. Very Nice.
Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation:
Your spelling and grammar are great. I think if you placed punctuation at the end of some of the lines in the poem, we could better understand where to pause.
Rhythm and Flow:
I love both the rhythm and flow of this poem.
Word Choice:
The word choice is both quite nice and very interesting.
Suggestions:
The only suggestion is as I stated before. Sometimes the punctuation in a poem lets us pause and reflect on the preceding thought.
Overall Impression:
I love the emotion and thoughts you expressed in this poem. I lost my mother years ago, but still think of her often, and speak to her when appropriate. She was my champion.
It has been my pleasure to review your work - I hope you found the review helpful and encouraging.
I try to view Janice48 Loves WDC, and can not read her poetry? I can not view her portfolio? I can not sign her guestbook? I've tried to rectify this but can't seem to do it? Can anyone here help?
Very nice poem. I liked the subject matter, the rhyming, the rhythm, the theme and think the title quite appropriate. I thought it was going to be about humans hunting wolves. A nice surprise awaited me though. I really like a poem with the thoughts of animals coming to life. You did this well. thank you for sharing this poem!
I really liked this poem very much. I don't even know why anyone would say the format is wrong? I'm surely not a poetry X-spurt, critic, or even very knowledgeable about the topic. The format is the way something is arranged. This poem is arranged the way it is arranged. Unless you were submitting this as a sonnet or haiku or something that has a specific format - then I say the same thing you say - there is no such a thing as a format that this poem should fall into. Good writing and good luck in your future endeavors.
I really like this poem - although I usually prefer ones that rhyme? The subject matter is compelling and overall I can't think of anything to improve it. I just can't give it a 5 - probably a flaw in my character? Good luck in your future endeavors!
I like the subject matter and I do like poetry that rhymes, pretty good poem in my estimation. I hated all the meetings before I retired. Good luck in your future endeavors! Keep writing.
I just don't get it, how some people have the need to express themselves by using vulgarity. I think there are about 22 too many its in this poem. I don't understand how so many people could have rated this poem so highly? Fourteen people obviously think this is about the best poem they have read? Maybe it's the LOVE at the end? You have your right to write anything you desire, I guess? I really do think you could do better than this - given the time - and desire.
I think one burst would have been enough. I like the emotion though, although this seems more of an essay than a poem to me. It is his loss, and I'm sure you'll raise them just fine with all the love you express. I wish you well in your future writings and other endeavors in life.
I thought it is a pretty good poem, although I desagree with the premise that after death anything is left but a decomposing body. I believe you leave your body to rot and go on without it, but then what do I know? Keep writing and I wish you well in all your future endeavors. I do probably rate lower than most so please don't be offended.
Oh, but the things that can hurt the most are words, especially if uttered by the ones we love! Always be careful what comes out your mouth, or your relationships may go south. The old adage although cute, is not true, when spoken by a brute. I think this is a very emotional poem spoken from the heart. If this situation is happening in your home - let a counselor you trust know. Verbal abuse is quite damaging to our precious hearts and minds. I do wish you well in all your endeavors. Keep writing and expressing yourself stronggurl - you have a knack for it!
Very nice, but so sad - I believe you meant based on real life? He must have been a special person.
good luck to you in all your endeavors. I think the best poetry is based on real life and when it evokes such strong emotions, it was well worth the writing. I guess this must be part of the healing experience for you, Write On!
I'm usually a fan of death poems, this one left me wanting though? I think suppose should be supposed? I don't believe that any two people were meant to be - we make choices and some of them are bad. Move on as best you can and buck up there will be more dumb choices in the future. Guard your heart a little better and make those you let in earn your trust. Good choices make for a good life. Your choice to express yourself is definitely a good one! You have a lot to live for - so the rest of us can see your writing as it progresses and improves - for it surely will - practice makes perfect or so they say.
Awesome that you escaped - it wasn't fate - just a bad choice in life - you'll make some more probably, don't let others steal your heart so fast - make them earn it over time and run at the first lie or you may regret it.
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