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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/brunoise
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8 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Man of the Leaves  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is well written.

I really enjoy the way Sanjo is fleshed out over the course of the story. You give the right amount of detail at each place to draw him a little more into focus. The final revelation at the end cements the whole thing nicely, and changes the perspective of the previous events in a pleasing way.

I did feel the beginning was a bit choppy. I think it could benefit from a little more time given to the environment he was in. It isn't until about half way through the fourth paragraph that I had any idea where he was, and it made it difficult for me to picture him physically. Even just a suggestive detail or two about being in a forest would suffice.

All and all, very nice.
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Review of Horse Whispering  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Thematically, I love the idea. The blind leading the blind. Sounds familiar :)

There is something about the tempo of it that I found a little tough to follow. I felt too much information was being conveyed at times, and rather than having a clear picture in my mind of what was going on, I was struggling to put these new pieces of information in. I had to go back a few times and reread things in order to make sense of them.

I also found myself wishing the horse had a name. I wonder what name a horse would have for itself? The whole concept of self perception might be an interesting idea to follow. You spend a good amount of time explaining Keyah's self perception, what she finds when taps into the horse's could be an interesting contrast or comparison. Perhaps she could even learn something from the horse in this respect.

The last line is really strong. It really drives home the point in a crisp way.
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