I cannot stand math. Any part of it! Your poem expresses not only your feelings towards the horrid subject, but also mine and I'm sure so many more of today's youth. Couldn't we be using that time wasted in class, writing??
Congradulations on a true to life, or true to math, poem!
I really liked this. But that's probably because I adore reading about roses, whether they're metaphoric or not. I like how you use personification to "make" the rose a woman.
I couldn't figure out, if at the beginning when you say "Oh, Bloody Rose!" Is that just stating the title or is it part of the poem?
This just looks so pretty! I really like the movement of the paragraphs, almost parallel to a flowing river. The picture is very thought provoking, too.
This one is very hard for me to review because I don't see anything with it that needs changed!
When I read this, I kind of forgot that it was a poem, mostly because the rhyme scheme is so unnoticable. But that's good to me because it means that I was so attentive to your words that I couldn't pay attention to the meter.
I know the feeling, that the animal isn't your average house pet. I had a dog named Duke that was rescued from Angels for Animals. He had had a long day of people petting and satring and playing with him in the pet store, but still had enough energy to play with me when we got to him. We took him home, and one of his favorite things to do was pull me across the kitchen floor by my hair! It was painful, but fun.
The spacing here is nice, very easy and inviting to read. I don't have any suggestions for this. Good job!
I've had a similar expierience! When I was about four I was at the lake and I was attempting to feed the duck, when it bit my finger! I was on my dad's shoulders for the rest of the day. It's painful!!
This made me laugh in less than 300 words, very cute! And I love how you used the HTML to play up the sillyness. Good job!
I think one thing that might improve this is if you try to add a little more punctuation. Some places really feel like they need a comma or something.
Well, this was interesting. But the whole mood felt like you were just trying to make it rhyme. And it really sounded forced. I'm not really sure what should be done to fix that, but it was a little choppy.
I've never really thought about the subject like that before, but both sides present a good point. I suppose I've never had to think about it, though, because I've never known an aeithiest.
I noticed that you use two spaces after each punctuation, is there a reason for that, just to make it more presentable?
I like your creative comparison what with your grandmother's eating habbits and such, I found that very amusing.
I'm raiding your port for 10 reviews for your placing in the "Precious Gifts Writing Contest"
Review 5 of 10:
Oh, what an expirience that would have been! Once there was a spider hanging from our bathroom cieling, dangling in front of my face! I screamed and swatted at it and it fell, but I wasn't sure where it had gone. So I went to bed and in the morning it had bitten me on the wrist and numbed my forearm for an hour or so!
" be......"
You only need three periods to express the pause, in fact that's the only correct way to write it.
I'm raiding your port for 10 reviews for your placing in the "Precious Gifts Writing Contest"
Review 1 of 10:
I love the picture at the top! It's very cute and very appropriate. At first I thought your rhyme scheme was a little long, but it was consistant. No spelling errors, but I do think you need at least a little punctuation. It may be missing because of the fact it is a children's poem, but I think a comma in the appropriate place would make it even better.
I had to get clues as to what this was about from the title and description, but when I did understand it I really liked it.
A toad fights a cat only to die, but be reborn as a world saving samuri... It's great that you can say that in only three lines of words, that takes lots of talent.
I love the meter here, it's very consistent and flowing to read.
The only thing I noticed is thta there is quite a bit of punctuation, commas, and it's a little distracting. But I don't really see how it would read correctly without them so I wouldn't recomend a change.
This is probably a stupid question, but is the "Thief Time" at the begginning of your poem, part of the poem? Or just the title?
I think I know why I like your haikus so much, I'd never read one before reading a few from your port. The nouns are such defined words- leaves, dears, lovers, thief... That at the mention of each the reader can form a picture in thier minds. So even though they are very short, they are very involved and entertaining.
I saw nothing that needs to be fixed here, great job!
So, are the two parts like a flash version and a poetry version of the same thing?
I really enjoyed both. Condisdering the comment made by the girl, I wouldn't have expected her to be only 12, but I guess that's supposed to be the surprise.
I thought you used a few too many describing words in the first part, it's good to be descriptive and all, but I think it's a little too much. So just take out a few of the adjectives and it'll be perfect! The poem part was great.
Again, this has very few words but was fun to read. I find that the shorter the poem, the harder it is to translate. Like with your last one, I had to reread it to get that the sailboat was actually a sea gull. And I had to reread this one to get the Jack Frost part. But maybe it's just me
Well, good job with this, I can see a cute little squirrel nervously looking for its nuts.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 10:40pm on Dec 23, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
