THE GOOD: The writing style and pacing are pretty decent here, which is better than I've come to expect from many of the Interactives (several of which look like they've been run through Google Translate several times).
THE BAD: Lost count of the number of sentences that started with a lowercase letter (which tended to be at the beginning of a spoken line), also a few random Capitalizations. The only reason that I'm mentioning this is because they tended to be in OP's chapters.
THE UGLY: All of the storylines that have been started as of Feb 3, 2013 take situations that are already fairly unrealistic (which isn't terrible by itself) and throw them into either complete lunacy or humiliating abuse, without (in all cases except the newest one) the extenuating force that is magic (or a sufficiently advanced technology). The suspension of disbelief is broken here, even considering what Interactive Stories usually contain (some kind of impossible fetish).
The idea that nobody has any money here is my main breaking point. A credit card is a basic necessity for living in most parts of the United States (it's pretty clear that the story's set here), because you need a credit history to be able to take out loans (whether that means for a car, a house, or anything else), to rent an apartment, or even to get a decent job. Also, there's always a Goodwill-type store in a decent-sized town, and church-run thrift stores in most of the smaller ones. Not having much money in your possession is no excuse for not getting half-decent clothes. (Walmart prices: A t-shirt is $10, a pair of jeans run $10 to $20, socks are $10 for 10 pairs, underwear is under $10 for three pairs.) On top of that, these guys are easily desperate enough to re-wear clothes between washings.
Also, one of the writers in this story appears to have gotten the term "crossdresser" confused with "transgender". That chapter has been there for over a year, so it is now OP's fault.
I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/buckybone
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 11:28pm on Dec 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
