Hey there! I really liked your chapter. As soon as I started reading, I got hooked into it. The whole plot twist/ surprise ending was awesome. Overall Impression: Good. Tips: This is just my opinion! As a reader, I tend to like stories with greater detail and interesting vocabulary. You did well overall with that, but in some parts, I feel like you sort of rushed through the story a little. I think a more detail about Kevin's traveling, first through to the park and later with Susan, would give your story a little touch of reality. Also, I have no idea what Kevin or Susan looks like. Very interesting though! Hope you have more for me to read soon.
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