I love this. I recognize myself as Agnostic, believing God is in us and around us and we don't need any preachers or the likes to tell us what to think. I argue the bible often, but I have read it cover to cover, multiple times, and multiple versions. I think many need to realize that following blindly is as sinful as anything. The point of any religion is for you to question and find yourself, and what you believe. That's why I believe there are no wrong religions for if we all believed the same thing we would stop questioning and God would cease to exist.
The simple format of John, Jane, John, Jane is the only reason I chose to lessen my rate by .5. I think this could benefit from a little more imagery and narrative.
Beautiful, brought a tear to my eye. I'm sorry for your loss, but as you said, she's in heaven so she's ok. I know poems like this are personal so I won't say anything about changing a single word, but perhaps in time give it an edit for punctuation and grammar, just so it flows a little easier. Thank you for sharing such a personal piece.
I like this poem but I felt it was a little flat. I think some punctuation could really help make this flow a little easier and accent the strong points. The imagery was lovely and I really wish I felt what you were trying to convey. Good effort and wonderful poem, thank you for sharing it!
An extremely emotional piece about something I understand well. When it's at the point the muic doesn't embrace you like it once did and leaves you hollow.... well simply put, part ofyou is missing.
I enjoyed the flow and rhythm of the piece but I felt it could benefit from a grammatical tune up and an overhall on the spacing you've used. I feel an important message is getting muddled in a wall of words... and the message is worth everyone seeing.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/caglechick
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 1:56pm on Dec 26, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
