Hey, I liked this one. I thought it was a great metaphor for one's deep inner thoughts and far away memories, as well as one's demons which threaten the peacefulness of our happy place. One correction I think is the line "Terrifying they any other," That didn't make sense to me and perhaps you meant "Terrifying than the other." Other than that, I thought it was good. You're improving :) Keep up the writing!
Hey, I like this one! While crazy, it seems quite positive and pro-individualism and anti conformism. I liked the rhyme scheme and the idioms. A specific structure didn't pop out at me, but then again, I didn't really look, because with the message of running to your own beat, I don't think structure matters. Keep up the good work!
Hey, I really enjoyed your piece. It was very atmospheric and sensing. Quite beautiful. Some suggestions of things that I found when saying your poem out loud: "As I sing them their singsongs" doesn't sound right to my ears, I feel like there should be a to like "Sing to them their singsongs" and also, "It doesn't even faze me that they aren't really even there" is too long to fit the pattern in my opinion. There are two evens in that one sentence, and I feel like you only need either "really" or "even", not both. Anyways, I wish you good luck with the writing!
Hey, an interesting piece. Seems to be to me about someone who used to be in one's life, but is now gone (just my personal subjective take on it, probably cause I call my boyfriend my sunshine). There are some mistakes perhaps, line 13: "The is no light" is it supposed to be the or did you mean there? Also, "There sky is blue" I think that's meant to be their, since it's referred to as belonging to "those". Also, was there a specific structure you were aiming for?
This was really good, I think that you are a brilliant writer :) I say that because at the end I had tears in my eyes when reading, and it just made me feel so sad! Making a reader feel something is one of the most important things a writer can accomplish in my opinion. If the reader feels nothing, then the project might as well be a waste. I saw little to no grammar or spelling mistakes. I'm rather terrible with reviews, so I'll give you this, great job :)
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