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9 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Untitled  Open in new Window.
Review by Mel Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Pretty interesting for a begining. I like it and would like to read more. I do think it could use a little more detail as to the characters why they are in prison, how they came to be there. Maybe tell us what the aliens look like, why they are here. Stuff like that but before you do any of that i would suggest that you finish the story. Good luck!
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Review of Heart of Texas  Open in new Window.
Review by Mel Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
As an outline it's not bad, but I did spot some grammar errors and punctuation errors. You leave it somewhat unclear whether your writing is dialogue or someone's thoughts. Use quotation marks around what you want people to know is a conversation.

He looks good for his age, he is dressed neatly as always blue soft cotton shirt which causes his blues eyes to sparkle bright. Deep blue slacks pressed perfect freshly shaved and smiling like he owns me.

my relationship or lack of one with him was my decision not his

I would consider changing this particular part to make more sense. If you notice your repeating yourself a little. The last part i would say;
My relationship with him or lack their of was my decision not his. Otherwise you've got a great start. Keep going and good luck!


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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/castanight