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Review Requests: OFF
215 Public Reviews Given
234 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Dear Toni Kopeland,

I'm not sure if you're entering this piece into my contest. Nevertheless, I figure I should at least give you a review. First of all, let me thank you for taking the time to enter my contest, and please excuse me for taking such a long time to announce the winners and send out the reviews.

While "Bela Gets Grounded" is a cute little story, I feel like the story is still in the rough draft. There are many writing mechanic errors and most of the plots and dialogues haven't been fleshed out. I don't particularly relate to the main character as well, and there are some rude words better left out for 13+ writings. Then again, I believe that you can still grow as a writer and I will definitely await your future piece of writings.

Keep Writing!

Click here for result: "WINNERS ANNOUNCED!!!!!"  Open in new Window.

Cat-Claws
2
2
Review of A Mother's Love  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Dear Tom,

First of all, let me thank you for taking the time to enter my contest, and please excuse me for taking such a long time to announce the winners and send out the reviews.

While "A Mother's Love" doesn't clearly portray the dhampire I envisioned in my mind nor the traditional views, this piece contains a good use of vocabularies and is nicely-written in a classic style not unlike Anne Rice's revolutionary vampire tales. It might be wise to expand the story rather than leaving it in an incomplete state as it is (at least that's what I feel after getting to the end). Then again, bravo for writing about something you've never written before -- that's a far better accomplishment than winning.

Keep Writing!

Click here for result: "WINNERS ANNOUNCED!!!!!"  Open in new Window.

Cat-Claws
3
3
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star* Hi, emerin-liseli! *Star*
Here's my review on your contest:




*Snow1* A. TITLE & DESCRIPTIONS *Snow1*

         The bold and capitalized title sure is eye-catching, and that works well with your contest publication (I think that was what attracted me before *Pthb* ). The descriptions below the title are also good enough, especially the 6-month upgraded membership prize, which is a GREAT prize to win! *Bigsmile*



*Exclaim* B. TECHNICAL TYPOS, ILLOGICAL SENTENCES, AND WORDING *Exclaim*

         I didn't spot any technical typos, illogical sentences, nor bad wordings -- superb! XD I wish I have a beta-reader like you! *Wink*



*Note1* C. INSTRUCTION DETAILS *Note1*

         I think the instructions written are well-understood enough, I didn't feel the need to e-mail you any question regarding the contest. Moreover, you wrote the instructions and other notes in sequence and order, so it really helped people who want to join (and look at how many of us here!). Cool! XD



*Heart* D. CONTEST THEMES/PROMPTS *Heart*

         I feel that some of the prompts are unpredictable and fun enough, but I do have to agree with some contestants here that the themes are a little bit redundant. The most recurring ones are story-making and reviewing. Now, I don't mind reviewing (especially since I got a couple of starts myself because of those prompts. *Pthb*), but it might be disadvantageous to those who're not used to reviewing or prefer a short, to-the-point reviews. Moreover, the story prompts are mostly based on personal experience, whereas I'm hoping for a more imagination-provoking prompts. But the Fountain of Youth prompt sure is nice, looking forward to similar things in the future! *Wink*



*Right* E. FORMAT/APPEARANCE/LAYOUT *Left*

         I think the layout it great as it is. Each sub-titles are written in big fonts, which help people who want to read a certain section instead of reading everything from top to bottom. I also like the use of color and the star emoticons. They are really great additions to spice up your forum. And I also applaud you for not using colors that hurt the eyes (I hope this review doesn't give you that kind of effect, though! XD). The only suggestion I have is to probably use a more colorful or theme-related sig/contest banner. I feel that the sig isn't too attractive (sorry). But all-in-all, well done! *Wink*



*Blush* F. POSITIVE POINTS *Blush*

         And so, I'll sum up the good points in this contest:

*Check* The instructions are well-written and clear.

*Check* The prompts are posted pretty much on time (the lateness near the end of the contest is understandable and logical).

*Check* There are compensations for late entries and/or contestants who can't post the items for several good reason.

*Check* The various activities, though can still be expanded, are interesting for the contestants -- especially since the tasks are fun and aren't hard to do or too time-consuming.

*Check* Though a little bit late, I like the offering of reviews from the judges -- I think lots of the contestants are looking for this as well.

*Check* The most interesting of them all is, of course, the GRAND PRIZE that is worth sacrificing your time and energy for! *Wink*




*Sick* G. NEGATIVE POINTS *Sick*

         Now I'll sum up the things that should be fixed in future contests:

*Check* The themes are quite redundant, alternating between writing a story and reviewing. I'd love to see more WDC-related activities that can benefit more members.

*Check* The lateness in the score-tally. Sorry for being weird, but I really like to see it updated in a timely manner. *Pthb*

*Check* The writing prompts are mostly experience-related, and not everyone has the best of experience -- and I'm not sure if we can add some fictions to reality here...

*Check* The lengthy period. I love contests that have stages like this, but I think 14 days is just too much for me... thank goodness I'm on holiday, but the others might not be too convenient with the long period of contest, which is indicated by several missing contestants...




*Reading* H. BEST PART *Reading*

         The best prompt I like in this contest is the "Fountain of Youth" prompt. I think it is the only prompt that is useful for both the contestants AND the majority of WDC members. I mean, just look at all the interesting questions and answers! XD Of course the reviewing newbie is helpful enough, but I just feel that it's useful in a different way. I wish to see more prompts like this in your future contests. *Smile*



*Bigsmile* I. OVERALL *Bigsmile*

         In overall, this contest has, in my opinion, create a success among contests of this genre. If there's a WDC Variety Contest Award (somehow I'm imagining Variety Shows! XD), you should get at least a nomination! *Wink* Well, then, from above good and bad points, I'd like to give you several suggestions:

*Right* Give more variety in the contest prompts next time, preferably something more thought-provoking or WDC-related, and perhaps charity-related too.

*Right* Be more punctual in the forum revision -- the one here is understandable, but perhaps you can find a way to prevent similar things to happen in the future.

*Right* Make a more thought-provoking or imagination-striking (what the?) writing prompts.

*Right* Make the contest period shorter, please... *Pthb*

*Right* Hm, add more prize? *Bigsmile* *hit by a rotten tomato*


Anyway, this has been the most fun of experience. I hope I can enter similar contest in the future. But all those bad and good points aside, you should give the judges and yourself a REALLY BIG APPLAUSE for making this contest a success! Well done! Keep writing! n_~*



~Cat-Claws.
4
4
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* Hi, Mars! *Star*

It seems like a wonderful poll asking about something unique and interesting. I think I'm gonna group myself to Option 8, I guess. I have cousins from another country, and most of my cousins study abroad. I also get to know lots of international friends since I join WDC. *Wink*

Anyway, since you said that the header and question are yet to be finished, I won't comment on them. Though I must say it's a little bit hard to judge on the answers if I don't know the question. *Pthb*

*ahem* In anyway, I think the variety in answer selections are quite okay. One thing you have to note is to make sure your question later is clearly understood by people.

When I first read the brief descriptions, I thought you're gonna ask about how aware I am about the current events or even how open-minded I am to people from other countries. But it seems like the question mainly asks about how international I am -- literally. So I guess my only suggestion is to explain more about what you mean by "international" here. *Smile*

Btw, just a little comment about the sig... I like the "It's A Small World" sig (I think I saw it before in other forums), but the header (the multicolor one) is kinda' confusing since the sentence has no space. It has a unique color and style, but... well, I'd prefer it if you put some spaces there. *Pthb*

Well, I guess that's all I can say about this poll. Good luck in this, I think this is quite an interesting thing to ask! Keep writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
5
5
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Star* Hi, Katherine! *Star*

I think this forum is a very good idea! Your generosity really knows no ends! *Bigsmile* I'll be participating in this soon after I finished my obligations to other WDC members. *Pthb* A 5-star rating for a thoroughly geenrous forum! Well done and good luck with the charity! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
6
6
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* Hi again, J.A. Buxton! *Star*

A lighter and more humorous take on a deadly illness! *Bigsmile* When I first read the story, I thought it's going to be something dark and gloomy, or perhaps a tear jerker. *Pthb* But it turns out to be a humour (should add that to your list of genres)! XD

Since you're using your pen name here, is it somewhat based on personal, real-life events? Not entirely, I'm sure, but maybe a personal bad experience with the doctors? I think it's a funny idea, though. *Smile*

Like usual: good grammars and spellings, nice descriptions, and plot like no other. Well done! Keep writing! n_~*


~Cat-Claws.
7
7
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star* Hi again, J.A. Buxton! *Star*

Again, a seemingly simple tale with a twist. I've seen lots of stories in the same twisted style, but never before have I read a story with irony radiating from it so much...

It got me thinking that we're sometimes like that: celebrating things when, at the same time, million others lost their lives. This story is the perfect example, albeit more subtle and unconcious.

On a more technical aspect, I really like the ending where you wrote, "No one noticed the smell, reminiscent of skunk, coming from the decaying bodies underfoot." I think it's morbidly compelling, and I can also taste the strong irony coming from it. *Pthb*

The grammar and spellings are also superb, I didn't notice anything wrong. Well done! Another 4,5-star rating from me! Keep writing! n_~*


~Cat-Claws.
8
8
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* Hi, J.A. Buxton! *Star*

I'm so sorry for taking too long to fulfill my donation! ,>_<, I hope you'll forgive me... *Frown*

Anyway, I really like this piece: it has a fantasy flavor but still manages to insert some kind of an insight to today's fluctuating weather condition. The descriptions used in this story are undoubtedly one of the most beautifully vivid one I've ever read. In overall, this story is short, pretty, and to-the-point; and I think I understand why this story won in the Writer's Cramp contest! *Wink*

However, if I may ask, is this intentional:

"“It was green, about so big!”"

*Right* Never heard the phrase "about so big" before. But since English isn't my first language, I might be mistaken... Or is this because she talks like this? Please enlighten me. *Smile*

The only thing I can suggest is to probably tell the readers more about the town she's visiting and about the inspector. I don't know, I just think that "inspector" and "magical thing" doesn't usually fall in one category. *Pthb* Just my suggestion, though.

In anyway, I gave this story a 4,5-star rating. Please don't be disheartened. I save my 5s to only the best in my opinion and have only given 10 or less in the past 6 years here. *Pthb* But of course, this story is a very good story! Keep writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
9
9
Review of Name that dog  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* Hi again, Becky! *Star*

Hi, this is a very cute wordsearch about our canine friends! I have a great time solving it. *Wink* The only suggestion I have is probably to add more words... I think I can take a few more! XD Keep writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
10
10
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
*Star* Hi, Highlord! *Star*
Here’s my review on your story:



*Snow1* A. TECHNICAL TYPOS, ILLOGICAL SENTENCES, AND WORDING *Snow1*

         I don't think I spot any serious typo, well done. *Smile*


*Exclaim* B. CHARACTERS *Exclaim*

         I think the characters have yet to be exploited. John Holmes (a mix between John Watson and Sherlock Holmes? *Smile* ) sounds like he has a potential to be a great detective, but I'm wondering how old he is in this story, for he sounds a little bit immature. I also wonder why he bothers the other man as PIs are usually attentive and careful in their speech.

         The 'officer' also sounds amateurish. I reckon he's the bad guy? But I can't see any of his motive in this chapter yet. I also find his reactions and comments to be ridiculous. Of course, if you plan to make him a stupid criminal, there's no problem. But if you want to make him a clever one (which I'm sure appeal to the readers more), you should revise his speech to add more intelligence and motives. Why does he have to say the things he said? What is the connection between him and the murder? Why is he there on the first place? These are some of the questions you should have in mind.



*Note1* C. PLOT *Note1*

         You actually have a great idea for the story -- I rarely read a mystery/detective story that's true to the genre these days (most are parody, comedic, or even supernaturalistic), so I commend you for staying true to the mainstream.

         Unfortunately enough, the one thing that makes mystery/detective writing harder than any other writing is the fact that we actually have to use both brains to write the story. The plot has to be informative, fair, and detailed, but it also has to appeal to the readers and not make them bored.

         In this story, the plot has barely been introduced. We still don't know what the killer's motives are, what other clues are gathered, and the possible suspects. It's normal for an opening chapter, of course, and at least you've shown us the murderer's weapon. But I somehow feel that the main plot of the murder is a little bit overshadowed by the speech between John and the 'officer'. You make the readers focus more on the suspicious 'officer' than the original plot, which is the murder. Maybe you can cut some of the speech and get the readers focus more on the murder of the woman.



*Heart* D. SCENE *Heart*

         The scenes in this story, in my opinion, have been nicely described. I quite like the opening paragraphs which describe the beach and John's actions. However, you can put more detailed descriptions. Instead of just saying, like, "He set up a camp", maybe you can describe his struggle on setting it, his personal comments about the trip, etc. Just a suggestion. *Wink*


*Right* E. LOGIC IN STORY *Left*

         Finally, the most dreaded part in every mystery writer's novel's criteria: logicality. A good mystery/detective story has to have a strong and convincing logic. Here are some illogicalities and notes (and some questions of mine to clarify things out) I found in this story:

*Exclaim* Why is John going to the beach, really? Is it because he's fed up with the cases? Or is he to investigate something? 'Cause later on, it is said that he would be in trouble if he told anyone that he was a PI.

*Exclaim* The victim was found dead with blood trickling down steadily. Meaning that she just died. The beach was an open space and there were lots of people. How come no one noticed that she wasn't strangled ('cause no one protested against the 'officer''s theory)? And why doesn't John reason with that as well?

*Exclaim* Good point on the blood. Strangulation does NOT cause blood-letting. It will only cause salivation and/or other bodily products discharges. Maybe you should explain this to strengthen John's theory.

*Exclaim* It is written that John tried to touch the victim (and did so eventually). But where were his gloves? As a PI, it's important to maintain the condition of the victim as it is. His not wearing gloves sounds wrong and amateurish to me.

*Exclaim* I wonder why the 'officer' left to take the badge. Why can't he just say that he doesn't have to show his badge to John?

*Exclaim* Why does John wear a heavy coat to the beach? Isn't it supposed to be hot and humid there? And won't it actually make him look suspicious to others?

*Exclaim* It's written that John managed to see something hidden beneath the victim's head. But how can he do that without actually checking on her first?

*Exclaim* You mentioned this poison called "Curare". Does it really exist? If so, are the characterizations of the poison correct (the origin, smell, and effect)? You have to be detailed when inserting informations about poisons in a detective story.

*Exclaim* Another note about death by poisoning: it usually doesn't cause blood-letting, but more commonly causes cyanosis, salivation, and/or burns (from chemical poisons).

*Exclaim* And again, since it is said that John dealt with this type of poison before and that the poison was quite commonly used, why wasn't there ANY explanation and cures for the poison? It doesn't make sense.




*Blush* F. WRITING STYLE *Blush*

         This story is written in a 3rd person's POV. While this allows you full access to be with anyone, thus not losing a scene, there's also a drawback in which the story becomes impersonal. You don't actually feel the emotions of the characters, especially the main ones. This can easily be fixed by describing the characters' current feelings ("Harry Potter" is a perfect example). I also find that humour really helps hooking your readers' attention, so make sure to slip some in the story. *Bigsmile*


*Sick* G. FORMAT/APPEARANCE *Sick*

         The layout of this story is a little bit messed up. Sometimes there are indents, sometimes there aren't. Sometimes the paragraphs are nicely arranged, sometimes they are chopped off in the middle. I also find that it lacks spacing between paragraphs. Even though it sounds like a simple matter, your readers probably won't read till the end if they're uncomfortable with the layout. Please consider revising it.


*Reading* H. BEST PART *Reading*

         I like this part best:

“For God’s sake stop treating me like some random desk-clerk! I’m a private investigator.”

(Paragraph 8, Line 1) --> I guess

*Right* I always like a little humour in a story, and this is no exception. Cool! XD



*Bigsmile* I. OVERALL *Bigsmile*

         So, in overall, this story has a potential. But you have to be careful on some things. Here are the summary of the above comments:

*Check1* Pay attention to the commas and other punctuations. But of course, these are minor problems. Simple revisions will do.

*Check1* The characters have to be more 3-dimensional. Give them more personality.

*Check1* The plot might need to be more logical and interesting. But it's a good opening chapter nonetheless, in my opinion. And one more thing, please focus on the main plot and don't stray too much.

*Check1* The scenes are nicely described, but can use some elaborations.

*Check1* Be careful on the logics! There are many illogicalities in this story!

*Check1* Your writing style can use a little bit more humour, personalization, and emotional descriptions of the characters.

*Check1* Please revise the layout, it hurts the audience's eyes and can discourage them from reading your story till the end.


         At last, please don't be discouraged from this review for we are all still learning. I'm currently writing my 1st detective novel myself, so let's not give up for the both of us! *Wink* I'll give this piece a 2,5-star rating, but will re-rate it if you revise this. Keep writing! n_~*


~Cat-Claws.
11
11
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Star* Hi, L.E. Garnier! *Star*

I found your mystery story to be quite exhilarating! I read the 1st chapter before I read this, though. *Pthb* I like the opening of the story which scene is that of Lila and the hellish corset. *Bigsmile* And while some of the men's descriptions are a bit too long for my taste, I do like how you model them. My only suggestion is probably to italicized the French words (monsieur, mademoiselle, etc) since the main language used in this story is English.

Btw, I'm actually planning on writing my own mystery novel just like the one you posted here. The setting is Paris, French, in the era of Belle Epoque (1890-1910). It's to be a detective story done in the style of Agatha Christie/Conan Doyle (the classic type). I hope it works well. *Pthb*

What I wanna ask is whether you know the law/police system in that era of French. I've been looking for lots of references in making my story, but I still can't find the one about the police/law system at that era. Do you, perhaps, have links to some sites discussing these matters? It will be a great help!

Again, thanks for the story and (in advance) for the reply. Keep writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
12
12
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* Hi again, georgiawill! *Star*

Again, a beautiful haiku. I think the theme in this one is more varied since I can see you write about earth, leaves, and bluebirds (which makes me wonder why you choose "Singing Leaves" as the title).

My advice is still the same - use WritingML to enhance the look of your title and content. I never mean to overlook the content of this wonderful piece, but I've R&R haikus with enhanced view, so I think it will be of good use.

I give this poem a 4,0-star rating again (seriously, I like the content), but please do e-mail me when you make changes so I can re-rate it. Keep writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
13
13
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Star* Hi, georgiawill! *Star*

I think you've done a pretty good job on this haiku. I see that the 5-7-5 pattern is there and the content and wording are not forced or anything. This is a poem about red roses, yes? I'm still kinda' new on haikus and wonder if you can tell me if there's any hidden meaning in this or if haiku strictly requires you to write nature as it is? My only suggestion... is to probably use WritingML to enhance the look of your title.

In any way, I decided to give this piece a 4,0-star rating for the content alone. If you enhance the piece with WritingML, I might re-rate it, just tell me. *Pthb* I hope you'll understand. Keep writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
14
14
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Star* Hi, Nylsaj Nomis! *Star*

A classic retelling of the bible, I see. It's good and thought-provoking, but I'd suggest adding a variety to it. Maybe retelling it from the prostitue's POV? For it feels like reading The Bible itself... As in, I already know what to expect... Doesn't mean you're a bad author, though. Just try to improvise next time... Keep writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
15
15
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* Hi again, Ann Ticipation! *Star*

You might not remember me since you have loads of admirers and reviewers all around WDC, but I'm one of your past reviewers. I must say that I really enjoyed and was thought-provoked by all of your pieces that I reviewed. They are truly compelling.

After reading this blog, I just realized that you're more than just a good poet - you're also a very good person. You seem to be able to emphatize to everyone without looking at his/her background and anything else. I'm honored to know someone like you exist in this ignorant world. *Smile*

However, I feel that you've been burdening yourself with other people's sorrow and depression, as if their pain become yours as well. This is good, for it shows that you're a caring person. But on the other hand, you seem to burden yourself too much. I read this: "being the person I am, I started to feel guilty, because of all the loss of life that was now being shown endlessly in our living rooms." and realized that you seem to love other people more than you love yourself. You cry and grief for others (even when you're not the source of their pain) but never realize that, by doing so, you're actually making yourself suffer.

I suggest that you start finding more hapiness in your life. I know you have a tough life, and being the rather emotional person you are, the pain must be doubled or even quadrupled. But if you keep on grieving for every single tragedy in the world, you'll feel very tired. And I'm sure people around you wouldn't want to see you like that. So please try to find more hapiness in your life...

Well, I've babbled long enough. I hope you can find your true hapiness. My prayers to you always. *Smile*

~Cat-Claws.
16
16
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* Hi again, J.A. Buxton! *Star*

Thanks for giving us the great advices (I must admit that I find lots of spelling and grammatical mistakes when I re-read my stories). I do think it's important to at least make a story a decent read.

And yes, I think I'll try a different genre. I *do* tend to write fanfiction, fantasy, and horror stories, and I'm currently trying children and mystery stories (and probably a real soft romance, next time) for a change. Your advice makes me more enthusiastic in writing them. *Smile*

Thanks a lot for the advices! Keep writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
17
17
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* Hi, J.A. Buxton! *Star*

Wow, you've written a real book! Do you have any tips or anything you can share about the process from writing your book to the publishing of it? *Smile* I'm trying to publish one too, and I actually wrote a short novelette about animals which, hopefully, can help animal conservation in Africa (still a dream, but...).

I also wrote some novels I really want to publish but have no idea where or how I should send it. Any tips?

In anyway, it seems lke you've written a nice novel. *Smile* I hope the sequel will be a hit! n_n Good luck and keep writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
18
18
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* Hi, Hooves! *Star*

XD I really like your sense of humor! In anyway, nice photo! I like how you describe the process of the photo till it's finished (I'm lazy to do that, sometimes). *Smile* Btw, is it just me or the stomach of yours (XD) look a little bit blurred? Maybe it's just me, though... Tee-hee, keep creating and writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws~
19
19
Review of Variety  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Unratable.)
*Star* Hi, Geja! *Star*

This is quite a nice image. The lady and the hawk looks stunning and great! But if I have to give a suggestion, maybe you should smooth the edgings a little. Not that I complain about the current since the rough edgings are also cool, but maybe juuust a little! *Smile* In any way, I gave this sig a 4,0-star rating! Keep creating and writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
20
20
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* Hi, Serenity! *Star*

Nice descriptions in your poem! I particularly like the 2nd line ("I'm breathing the whole big sky")! In my opinion, though, the poem will sound better if you add one or two more stanzas. The current one sounds unfinished.

In addition, I think it will also look better if you add a comma after the 3rd line as it has connection with the 4th one.

But in overall, I think the poem itself gives a clear intention and meaning. The last question is thought-provoking to both you and the readers who read it. Great job! For that, I give this poem a 4,0-star rating. Good luck and keep writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
21
21
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* Hi again, J.A. Buxton! *Star*

Hey! You really do make the second part! This is cool, I never thought that Google has a language tool! I only know Systran's Bablefish, so far... Could it be the one that translates the webpages when we want to? And I don't even know you can have filters! >_< I really miss a lot of its features!

Anyway, in a more technical question, why do you highlight the words in the bracktes following the "Use Moderate Filtering"? Is it special?

Well, in any way, great job in introducting this thing! I have a suggestion, why don't you put some captions to illustrate the features? It will be even better! I'll be waiting for your next edition! Good luck and keep writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
22
22
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* Hi again, J.A. Buxton! *Star*

Yeah! I use google a lot too! Mainly to search some stories and images! #n_n# For groups, I usually go to Yahoo! or MSN directly, though, but I guess they're powered by Google too.. right? *Pthb* In anyway, thanks for sharing! I gave this article a 4,0-star rating only because I belive you can expand the features more or add a graphic or two. Good luck and keep writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
23
23
Review of The Black Binder  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Star* Hi again, Shredded Rose! *Star*
Here’s my review on your folder:



         First of all, I need to tell you that I seldom review a folder, and thus this review may not be satisfying or perfect. Therefore, I’d like to apologize if you find this review unhelpful or weird. I’m practising here. But I’ll try reviewing this as well as I can (with the help of some reviewing articles, that is! :P). Hope you don’t mind!


*Right* Title of The Folder *Left*

         I think the title of the folder is suitable to the contents, since you did say that the poems are mostly dark… And the title itself sounds mysterious and interesting, it surely makes people curious to go check it out! n_~*
*Right* My rating: 4,5 stars.



*Snow2* The Brief Description *Snow2*

         Short and simple, but I guess it explains it all, eh? Maybe if you write something more mysterious in the brief descriptions people will find it even more interesting (like your folder title! n_~*).
*Right* My rating: 3,5 stars.



*Sick* The Folder Descriptions *Sick*

         The brief descriptions kinda’ tell the contents of your folder, though we don’t actually get what they’re all about. If I were you, I’ll not write about how I don’t specialize in poetry and that it’s just something to warm me up. After all, you *did* have good ratings and all. Be confident in yourself. *Smile* Oh, and some pictures and/or colors won’t hurt either! n_~*
*Right* My rating: 4,0 stars.



*Heart* Folder Contents *Heart*

         Well! What can I say? The titles of the poems are all interesting and the ratings are superb! Why, the lowest you get is a 4-star rating! And you say you don’t specialize in poetry? o_0; I wonder how the field you’re specializing in look like! n_n; Great job, dear! ;)
*Right* My rating: 4,5 stars.



*Note1*Overall*Note1*

         Okay, so there’s no typo, the contents are great, and it is interesting. My only suggestion is about that brief and folder descriptions up there. In anyway, I gave this folder a 4,125-star rating, rounded to 4,0-star rating. Great job and keep writing! n_~*


~Cat-Claws.

24
24
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star*
Hi, Redtowrite! *Star*

Thanks for sharing this experience of yours. I found it helpful as well spiritual-wise. So you never met Donnie again eversince? Poor guy, I hope he's well...

By the way, I found one illogical sentence:

"I was heading for Starbucks, or as my husband calls it "four bucks", and a delicious hot cappuccino with a splash of raspberry, when I noticed a man sitting on the sidewalk. "

*Right* It's kinda' weird since both sentences don't mix, if you know what I mean... n_n;

In anyway, I think the most important thing is the message of this piece, and I think it's well-delivered. Again, thanks for sharing! I give this piece a 4,5-star rating! Keep writing! n_~*

~Cat-Claws.
25
25
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Star* Hi, J. A. Buxton! *Star*
Here’s my review on your story:



*Snow1* A. TECHNICAL TYPOS, ILLOGICAL SENTENCES, AND WORDING *Snow1*

There are some minor typos, mainly punctuation. I suggest you re-read it and fix them. If you want, e-mail me back and I might try to look for them. *Smile* But don't worry, it's minor. *Pthb*


*Exclaim* B. CHARACTERS *Exclaim*

         The characterization are fine, the children already act convincing and natural, and the grown-ups have good characterizations as well. Well done! n_~*


*Note1* C. PLOT *Note1*

         Since this is only the excerpt, I can't say much about the plot. But for what I've read, I think the story is promising. Later when I have my free-time, I might read the rest of the novel. n_n


*Heart* D. SCENE *Heart*

         I think the scenes are nicely written and described. I can view the whole scenes and people in my head as I read this story. Good descriptions! ^0^


*Right* E. LOGIC IN STORY *Left*

         "“Uncle, uncle,” cried Sue Beth, holding her hands up in surrender as Joshua stood up and once again helped her to her feet." (Paragraph 4)

*Right* I understand the meaning of the above sentence, but I think it's weird to say "holding her hands up in surrender" since Joshua wasn't really trying to hurt her or something. I think it would be more logical to write: "... holding her hands up in surrender as she saw Joshua's grim face...". Well, I think it's minor, though, I might be the one having a misconception. n_n; Feel free to correct me. '-'


*Blush* F. WRITING STYLE *Blush*

         I like the writing style, simple but descriptive enough. It's the kind of writing everyone's suitable at and yet is 'imagination-triggering' (for the lack of a better word. n_n;). Keep it up!


*Sick* G. FORMAT/APPEARANCE *Sick*

         There's nothing wrong with the layout. The paragraphs are well-written and not too bulky, there's no broken lines and/or paragraphs, and the bold of the text sure helps the readers to read your piece here. Great!


*Reading* H. BEST PART *Reading*

         I like this part:

"Both children and adults finding their second childhood interrupted this mayhem now and then for the creation of snow angels. A large snowman slowly rose from the ground decorated in cast-off finery by two giggling blue-haired women. An old man, who in years past forgot how to even smile, eventually joined in on the fun; those nearby heard a rusty laugh as a misfired snowball found him." (Paragraph 6)

*Right* It's so cute to see both adults and children having fun together like that. Very peaceful and amusing. *Smile*



*Bigsmile* I. OVERALL *Bigsmile*

         In overall, I think this is quite a good start for a novel. I will try to find time to read the rest later. By the way, what's 'cabin fever'? Just curious to know. n_n; *ahem* Anyway, I think this excerpts deserves a 4,0-star rating. Well done and keep writing! n_~*


~Cat-Claws.

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