~ "...like the music had somewhere else to be..." What an exquisite way of demonstrating how isolated the character felt. Absolutely eloquent wording.

~ "...silence in the car used to be peaceful. Now it felt sharp, like glass in her lungs..." What a tactile description! Anyone who has ever breathed in sub-zero air knows this feeling. And whereas one can put a muffler over one's mouth to mitigate the sensation, grief often knows no such limitation. Nice job articulating emotion as a physical sensation.

~ Make your main font a bit larger. A larger font is more comfortable to read on the screen.

~ Consider wider line spacing; I'd recommend 1.4 or 1.6. It allows for more white space, which prevents the reader's eyes from becoming fatigued as quickly. Along with that, consider using just 1 blank line between paragraphs. Sometimes, when readers are delivered text in an unfamiliar format, they might be resistant to it. I'm not entirely sure why, but it is often the case.

~ Your use of bold face is interesting, kind of avant garde. However, it's a bit confusing sometimes; the reader is unsure where the emphasis of the sentence's voice is, or what significance the bold type has. I do understand this is a stylistic choice, and I respect that. You might want to have a look and make sure those are exactly where they need to be by reading the sentences out loud to see how they sound.

~ Watch your commas. For instance, you need a couple here: "You see, when a word falls from the sky, you best be prepared for".

~ Apostrophe's, too. Actually, in the same area, "you best be prepared" should be "...you'd best be prepared..."

~ In the third line, you have the form of "its." Because you are using the word as a contraction for "it is," you should use "it's." It's nothing, it's just the people...

~ Your inline punctuation is kind of all over the place. This makes it hard for the reader to accurately capture your feelings in each statement. For instance, the comma is misplaced in They pretend, they care but you know the truth. When placed there, the comma completely changes the meaning of this sentence to something very contradictory. Moving the comma over two words to the right puts the pause in the right place and separates the clauses into a properly contrasting statement: They pretend they care, but you know the truth.

~ There are a couple of issues with tense and plurality, as well. "...people, Who doesn't care about you." This should be "...who don't care about..." And in a similar instance, "...you was not raised..." should be "you were not raised"

~ About halfway through you slip into first-person for a minute: "I think it caught them all off guard." You probably want to change that.

~ Consider using a larger size font. I like to use 3.5, but 4 is also nice. Using slightly larger line-spacing helps the reader, too. My old eyes get very squinchy trying to read the standard size of 3.

~ Feed the story; fatten it up. Provide some extra bits of backstory, even if it's just a sentence here or a sentence there. The more complete the scene int eh reader's mind, the more invested the reader can become. I fall into a similar trap all the time—I know what I mean, so the reader must know what I mean, as well! Eh...not so. So put some more flesh on the bones of this terrific (and hopefully cathartic) story.

~ Assuming the second visit took place in modern times, there are indeed "over 8 million" people. Closer to 8 billion. Not sure if that warrants updating or not, but I thought I'd point it out.

~ Unicorns and dragons are actually not so outlandish as to be unreal. In the King James Bible:
     Deuteronomy 33:17—His glory is like the firstling of his bullock, and his horns are like the horns of unicorns...
     Psalms 18:8—Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it.

~ "Why you made it so easy to let me go" That's almost a riddle unto itself. What is unclear to the speaker in the poem is not why it was easy to let go, but why the other person designed it to be so or caused it to be so easy to let go. That's a step further into hurt, and such a great line.

~ "In the cracks of my chest" The pain of losing someone is still too clear to me, even though it has been years. It does feel like something is broken in one's chest, and ache or a hollowness. Your line conveys the brokenness of emotions with that unequaled pain of loss; but it doesn't get flowery with heartbreak or other trite phrases. The reader is left to feel what those cracks truly mean.

~ "They weigh more than I can hold" This is a line that takes some thought. If the unspoken words weigh more than the speaker in the poem can hold, then she must say them at some point. The reader is left to interpret this. Does she get these words out in therapy? To a friend? Through self-harm? Personally, I see her standing in her living room and screaming and sobbing at the walls two or three days a week, when it all gets too heavy. But that's the magic of poetry: room for interpretation.