If you want to be serious about your writing, you need to use proper language. Text-speak isn't going to help you improve your writing skills. Also take into consideration your use of exclamation marks. You undoubtedly feel strongly, but using an exclamation mark after every verse may not be the best way to express that. Let the words do more to show your feelings than your punctuation. I understand and sympathize with the idea you are expressing. Keep practicing and working hard, you have a valid idea to express here.
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