whoa, I want to read more, what is that blob? Is it coming to eat..the diner? The town?
Please let me know when you add to this. Im curious to see what happen.
ooh. What happened to the body? Is he really dead? what made bud sick? Could the body be the result of exposure to the gas and what if it wasnt really laughing gas. I am curious about the girl that told them about the body in the first place, was she a real person or did she disappear?
I want to read more this was great
wow. talk about sibling rivalry gone wrong. I understand a little of how Sarai feels. its hard to live in someone's shadow especially when you are twins. Parents dont often realise how this can effect the other child. I am curious to see how Sarai interacts with her parents. Do they treat her different because she's less powerful? are they mean to her? i want to read more to know why Sarai so willingly goes dark
wow. that was spicy. I liked this but is Kian a set of conjoined twins? I was a little confused by the use of they when you were talking about Kian's escapade.
i have had this feeling recently. that is definitely what i was feeling during that time.
I am glad to be over this but i will never forget the mess i was then. this captures the feeling perfectly.
is the main character a sniper or an assassin? what is the reason for this killing and who else has he killed besides the body on the floor and the guard?
hi Izzy,
I am Leah, and i will be reviewing your story.
I really like this story overall. There were a few things i was wondering about. I see that nicky is the big brother of the three kids. does he have a disability too? some of his behavior has me wondering if he's like his little sister, or not.
I have never had a big brother, but i am a big sister. i can relate to his worry about his little sister. How is relationship with his younger brother? does he work or have a life outside of hockey?
i think you should mention more about what he does when he isnt with his family and izzy. I love the relationship they have though.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/chcltroses
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 11:21pm on Dec 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
