Sounds like you didn't like hitch hiking very much did you?
This poem has a weighty tired feeling. I rather liked it. I don't say that often. I thought about saying that I didn't like it, but no, I do. It left me feeling a little depressed though, and I don't like that. But that is why it's good. You are able to convey the emotions with words, a very wonderful talent. I admire you.
Very interesting. I like the concept. A phoenix and a child born together, very close. A child destined for great things. I couldn't stop reading until the last line. You misspelled a few things, but I was so drawn in, I hardly noticed.
The good points of this are:
1. It draws you in.
2. The concept is good.
3. It's not an overused topic.
4. The descriptions are excellent.
The bad things are:
1. Errors in spelling.
2. Little tension
As this feels like a prologue, it doesn't yet need a lot of tension, but if you plan to continue this you might want to consider this in the future of the story.
I like that you didn't make up any funky weird names for your characters, though some of the names feel a little too plain. I liked the name Ethan, but Nathan felt a little wrong. If it were me, giving my character that name, I'd probably end up calling him Nat. But that's just me.
I like this. It certainly seems to be going somewhere. Keep it up.
It touched my heart and made me sad, but at the same time it does not feel like a tragedy even though it is. You incorporated that bible story in very well. You made it a part of your own story, so even though it comes from another book, you made it belong to you. That's real talent. I like this story, even though it made me cry. ^_^
The thing about anything you write is that is will NEVER receive a 100% approval rate. Harry Potter is really poplar, but I've spoken to people who can't stand it. Twilight is pretty popular, but I've spoken to writers (and readers) who HATE it. Shakespeare is considered a classic work of art, but lots of people today think it boring and depressing.
The best thing you can do for yourself is write what you want to and improve what you can.
If you have trouble spelling or using different words, improve your vocabulary. And if you have trouble with approval (and it seems you have), appeal to people who DO like you work. After all, you can't please everyone and EVERYONE is a critic. But that's what helps us improve.
I didn't quite get it. I see she talked to a reaper of death, at least I thought she did, but then she was dreaming? Also, she was in a car seat. Is she a child? She does not sound like a child. At youngest, maybe 13. 13 year olds don't sit in car seats. You lost me there.
I found myself thrown into the storm of your story. It made little sense. I also fail to see the purpose in what you wrote. There doesn't seem to be any deeper meaning or any life lesson. I do like how you ended it. I liked the irony of waking up to see the house you were dreaming about in reality, one you've never been to. Of course, if it happened to me, I'd be creeped out.
You have a good sense, but it still needs to be polished. Keep writing!
I was a little confused, not because it was difficult to understand, I just was. I'm not sure why myself. But if I followed it properly, so the elf sees Jesus, decides to give a gift, forgets his magic, and he uses stars instead. I like how you blended the religious and absolute fantasy together. I like how the idea is both new and old. I think that if your going to turn this into a book like you said, then it would make an excellent children's story. I don't understand why you threw Rudolf in there. In fact, I think that's what confused me. ^_^
Keep going! Your writing can only get better!
Heh----?! This had was really sad. I hate tragedies. Poor Mat.... I don't think even artificial life wood be forsaken by God, though. I don't believe in such a cruel father. (XD: fathers can be very cruel ) I don't really like this, but you do have skill! This just isn't my genre, I suppose...
It made me cry. I was so happy for that mother! I've never had a child, but I can just imagine the pain she felt when she lost her baby and the joy she felt when she found him! I feel attached to this. I'm gonna become a fan. Thank you very much. 5.0 ^_^
Which book and movie are you talking about? If it was Harry Potter, I'd read the book first. They leave so many things out in the movies. I like books better, too. I wonder if my standards are too high? Maybe it's just that the producer's standards are too low.
I give you 5.0, because I laughed! I'm a tooth fairy? I picked it, too! Just to be funny. But to answer your question, yes I've answered as the opposite gender before.
I don't know about reviewing. This time, I'm just saying what role playing games I played. I've never really played dungeons and dragons. I've played Sims, Sims 2, Sims 3, Harry Potter, Fable, Fable 2, Fable 3, Oblivion: The Lost Chapters, Pokemon, and Golden Sun.
Golden Sun is my favorite!
Hum. I'll be 19 soon though, so though I voted with the 18 thing, does it still count? I don't know. But it seems most members are young anyways. But that's not surprising. Some older people don't even know HOW to use a computer. My mom didn't for a while.
Seriously? What a question. But I'm LDS, so I KNOW that I'd believe in it even if I'd been taught to believe in something else since birth. The truth is the truth for each individual. Nobody can change it, though they can and WILL try. I'm blessed to have such faith.
I said 11-16, though it was definitely earlier then that. I started at about 8 myself, but I mostly drew out the stories with little word bubbles. I didn't start WRITING until I was 11.
I didn't understand this, so giving it a 3.0 is pushing it, but I hate to give bad ratings. I do get that your relating love to other things, mainly animals. Not a bad choice of relating, but I still don't get it. And I'm usually good with philosophy.
Ummm... I don't know what to say. It's kind of, ya know.... give a a little bit of a perverted feeling? I'm rather embarrassed to read it. I understand what your saying though. The first is always the best. Usually. Mine wasn't, but usually it's good. I don't know though. This isn't my kind of poetry.
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