This was very entertaining to read, because I was Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz my freshman year. I like the difference you made with this; coming form Oz instead of going to it. You still incorporated the death of the witch and the stories the same, just that the scenery was switched. I really liked this.
This was absolutely amazing. The details you put in, the story line you told, the love I can feel pulsing through Mark and Olivia; you are an excellent writer. I can't say there's something wrong with this. This story was perfection. As I read, and you described the treatments he went through, his pain, the other patients; it made it sound so realistic. Brava.
This was lovely. This poem is true; Gods love can set you free and show who you truly are. You have an excellent way of expressing his love and affection.
There was a part where the story got confusing, but other than that this story was amazing. I love the part where John Walton admits he's actually Ryan, and then you switched the accident situation. It was genius. I did get confused when I read the line "The next day"; I thought you were writing about the day after he graduated, but then I realized it was the day after his wife's birthday. Excellent work.
I was sort of disappointed with the ending. Not much of a climax or suspense. Is this story continued someplace else? It just seems...abruptly cut off. You're writing is very good though.
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