Very Good story and unexpected ending. I find it interesting that impatience killed the main character. The story is both believable and fantastical, the hook is set early on when the gypsy declares that she can see Victoria's guardian angel. I just had to continue at that point.
Their are a few mispelled words and a few places where re wording may help the flow of the dialogue, however, I am not a stiffy who thinks that occasional typos and or mispelled words have anything at all to do with story telling. That's what editing is for.
But in a few places it gets a little rough, changing a few words around will do the trick.
I really like this type of story, very creative and thought provoking. Good luck and keep up the good work !
C
I think the concept is very unique ! The story is interesting, captivating even as the reader is anxious to read the rest of the story ! A little more emotion for Kerk and Marlene would make it a tad more believable I think however,,,excellent characterization, your personalities are jumping off the page
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