I think this is a good pome and must poeple can feel what you felt at the time you had written these pome. But it takes guts to keep going, you show try and what keeps you in 6 to 9 lines. It may show how hard live is but then you come back fighting.
We all have bad days but what we need is tips on how to get throught them.
I think it was a good piece untill you wrote about the rent bit. It seem that it camew out of left feild. It was all images that I could make in my mind and then you put "Most of them don’t realize what it’s like
To have to worry about paying next month’s rent." you went to someting that you are telling me not showing me.
It is a great pome and very detail. I could almost feel the what you had written down. You have a very good way with words, they could be use in some form of gothic theme piece. You have a great way of getting to a point and nialing it to floor.
I think this is great way to get people wh are members of this group involed, but do not know how to being. People like me, I look at other people's works and I find out things that are part of this site. Then I go looking to find out more about to try something new. For example an image. That is my next thing to work on.
Things this is a good poem, but is it about coming out to a freind out a spliting up with a lover. It would have been a bit better if you made this more clear.
I found this to be a very well written pice and it almost reads like a scien in a story of somekind. I can feel the emostiohs that you were going for. It was very around out, like I said in a story.
Keep up the great work and may your words keep flowing like a river going down hill.
Think that the way you have written this piece makes it a bit hard to read, plus it made me lose my train of thought. But I and guess when I was this was about when you were wanting to tell you family something but you did not want to say to them.
Keep up the good work and the words flowing a rivr.
I thinks this is a good pome but I feel that there could be more to it, I am not sure how. I think it would even be be good if it was to muusci. It would be a course.
I found the pome ok but it had feel but I feel you could have added some details to the pome which I feel would have given it some imager that might have helped.
These are my opinion and at the sametime I suched tell you that I do not know much a potery.
Keep then pen to paper so the waterfall of words keepo flowing.
I really like you pome it is like something I felt when I was in school and that is why I stopping going to school so many years ago. I am sure many teenages feel that way still. You have give you pome life by you details.
Keep up the good work and may you words follow to people how need to know that they are not on there own.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/chonlove
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.14 seconds at 1:08pm on Dec 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
