This story is beautiful and very bitter sweet. I love the voice you use. Its so full of forced wisdom, sorrow, and hope. Its sucked me right in.
Bethany seems like a very bright and sweet kid, who desperately wants freedom. I like how she fears the overseer, and despite that is still willing to take that risk just so she won't have to live like she does.
I admit, I wanted her to escape when she saw that door--but the ending, despite it being heartbreaking, was great. There was even a bit of hope, that maybe, just maybe she would try again. I hope she would.
First, let me start of by saying that this was a very interesting story. From very early on, there seemed to be a tension with Shimmy, due to the weather. I like how you had her "arguing" with Roscoe her dog, and how he kept disobeying her. I like how in the end, her bad feelings about the storm where verified. I think, based on the challenged you did very well. I especially like how Shimmy gets more and more afraid, even desperate in her attempts to have roscoe obey her. Kudos on this!
Aria
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