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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/cjmax88
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9 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
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Review of I Get It  Open in new Window.
Review by CJ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You reviewed a piece of mine, I felt I should return the due favor.

Your first go at a poem didn't turn out so bad, not bad at all. It's a relatable topic, for most teenage/20 something girls.

There's only one thing I found that I wasn't fond of, when you threw out the rhyme scheme in this section:
But he doesn’t really see you,
And it breaks your heart;
Watching as he makes his way
Through every girl in class

My own twist on words would've been something like this (but you don't need to listen to me, I'm not a professional at poetry either):
But he doesn’t really see you,
And it breaks your heart;
Moving through every girl
Like it's his art.

Overall I enjoyed this, keep writing poetry, you've got a knack for it.
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Review of Where We End  Open in new Window.
Review by CJ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This.
Something that can become a very depressing topic, but you twisted it into something different.
Thinking about it can bring you down, but in the writing you say that it will all go back to before you even knew one another, it will go back to when you didn't need one another.
Apologies, I myself just went through one, and relate this piece to my life right now.
A very good write, I offer no change.
Thank you for sharing.
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Review of Fat Girl  Open in new Window.
Review by CJ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Katwoman45,
Thank you for this piece.
I myself am overweight and feel some of these things on a daily basis. Especially toward the end when talking about getting lost in a "weightless glide through space". I enjoy looking up at the stars during the night for this exact reason.
The very last 2 lines, "she often wonders how round they would be / if cells craved cold indifference." are very empowering. It seems to me almost like a revenge statement, like a "see how you like it" type thing.
I love this writing and thank you very sharing this.
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