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Review of Apple  Open in new Window.
Review by kiwi-warz Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This was really good and I liked to fact that you incorporated a symbolism in it; especially the apple which appears in many such works of literacy.

One suggestion I could make is to replace some words to create better imagery.

like "Only to have my eyes pried open"

And I really like the line: "and her battle was lost"
so maybe you can incorporate that in the second to last line: "a constant reminder of my surrender" to tie it all back in..

but that's just all my opinion and whatever you do, the poem is already really good.
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