The raw honesty in this poems is wonderful! You describe love so wonderfuly, and yet so simply. Managing to convey a certain feeling without over-comoplicating it can sometimes be hard, but you nailed it! Keep up the good work!
~Alex~
I really like this poem. They way you describe your journal is exactly how so many feel about their choices of escape. You have really captured the way minors feel towards their parents and restrictions that are placed on them. And throught it all you managed to rhyme too! Good job, keep it up!
Hey Lauren, your story looks really good so far! It's descriptive and the idea is very origional. I've got a few suggestions, if you don't mind :)
~ Instead of announcing that Aiden and Chloe are in detention, try incorpirating it into your paragraph. For example, you could say 'While sitting in detention Aiden stared at Chloe...' Doing something like that would help the story to flow better.
~Since the story's not finished, you might want to put a note at the beginning or end to let your readers know its a work in progress. That way they're not confused when it suddenly stopps.
Keep up the good work! :D
~Alex
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