Your feelings are clear. You have made a good attempt at rhyme Your challenge to her that she will suffer more than you could be more clear. This is a good beginning and can become a good read. Even of you do not go on with your writing I sure you have found the experience writing your feeling. A great help in overcoming your Hirt. Good luck
Terrific! Your rhythm and rhyme are excellent. I could visualize the scène and could put myself on that bench. You have a great talent and you have done a great job with this piece. The current Poet Laureate has said that he rewrites his work 20-30 times before he has it right. I would like to have seen another verse about the old man rather than turning to ants. Thanks again for sharing.
I cannot honestly say that I have ever feared that there was something under my bed, but reading this poem gives me cause to wonder.
Unlike much of what we see posted on this site as ‘poetry’ you have a real talent which shows through well with this poem.
Thanks for writing.
I appreciate your sentiments and agree somewhat with your concerns. Rating systems are darned hard. Like when we were chasing grades in school, everyone expected to receive an A. I am new at this reviewing game; however I believe I know good work when I see it. So far I have not awarded anything higher than 4.5 or anything lower than a 3.0. I world find it unlikely to ever award a 5.0, though it is there if warranted. I doubt I will ever award something less than 3.0 because I believe that if the writer took the time to write something he or she deserves at least an E for effort.
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