I like the plot of the story and the characters were interesting. (-:
I would suggest editing- checking for grammatical errors, making sure everything flows well, etc. The story seems to jump around a bit, going from one topic to another, so be sure to decide what idea you want to get across in each paragraph/section and stick with that so that it all runs together properly and it's easier for the reader to follow what is going on. This is a very good start!
This is a good start! I would suggest going back and editing. There are a few places where grammar and word choice should be reconsidered, but otherwise it is a good of story. (-:
Wow, I love this poem! Your description of the theme park is wonderful: it brought back many good memories! And I really appreciate the message of poem. It's true that often we can get so caught up in ourselves when all around us are people with their own lives, their own joys, sorrows, and dreams.Your poem is well written and thought provoking. I really enjoyed reading it. (-:
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