I liked how you put the rhyme scheme in an AA, way all the poem. 1 question: The second to last line "That life I knew is done," should knew be know? Anyways great writing.
I only do rhyming poems also.. in my opinion they give the best detail. But yea, Very very very brilliant how each stanza with each separate line has to do with another, waves and shores, thoughts and soul, noise and loud, body and mind. This was very good, not to put mine out there but I think you'd enjoy my poem An Important Life. Anyways very...professional, although I am an amateur.
I really thought this was good, my normal poems I like are the short stanza 2-4lined, but this was very detailed. I hate to put my own out there but I think you'd enjoy my poem Your Expired Toy, dealing with the same situation. Anyways, perfect in my opinion 5/5
This was a really good poem, I'm not religious but you put what was in the Bible into really good poetry. Only suggestion and question is if in the first stanza second line if between all and He should be a comma? I have only reviewed very few poems but this was the best yet.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/coperniki
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 2:54pm on Dec 27, 2024 via server WEBX1.