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Review by drac Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I read the first two paragraph but can't bring my self to read the other paragraphs....
Your way of writing is fine
but.... I think It will be easier and enjoyable to read if you part the point of view and the dialog and add some line spacing^^
If you don't mind, can you edit it?
I really want to read your story^^
And If you don't mind, contact me please after you edit this story... I will be happy to read it^^
thanks before
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