The essay or story seems well written but the plot was, how should I put this,... stereotypical. I know you're trying to bring forth your views with a story and I do it all the time but the story about an old lady getting robbed? I hope you're not offended but the story was slightly on the childsih side. On the whole, its a classic example of a good wholesome read.
One more thing. The word "would’nt" Isn't it "wouldn't"?
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