First thoughts: You have painted a picture of a perfect day in January, or any month for that matter. I am not a poetry expert, but you lost me in the final stanza. I think the first two flowed very nicely. Maybe it wasnt supposed to because it is a style of poetry I am unfamiliar with, which entirely possible. Either way, keep going!!
I liked the story! It seemed to use the same words in acouple of places that made it feel repetitive in places. Ex. in the begining where the word 'well' was used at the beginning of statements. The other is 'quickly', near the end. I did like very much the story, as I tend to like darker tales, though i don't write them. Last, I hope this review helps, and is NOT in anyway offensive. I am by no means a great witer or editor, and am very new to this! Keep going!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 2:48pm on Dec 26, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
