This is definitely an interesting start. So far you have explained only a small amount of information -- such as the penalty for slapping a member of the royal house -- but what you did explain was very subtle and well-done. At first the reader doesn't realize that you had even explained anything, which is good because that means it doesn't distract the reader. I like the parallel between Darwin and Vasmir. I'm curious what the connection is. You hook the reader right from the beginning, and leave them wondering what will happen next. Your talent for creating a near-hysterical atmosphere for the two is awesome, and catches the reader instantly. Good luck in continuing, and I hope to read more in the future.
I just wanted to tell you I liked your story. I don't usually read romance, it's just not my thing, but I thought yours was very good. The characters were interesting and believable, and the reader feels really sorry for Sue Ann when she has a panic attack. I like the words you chose to use, especially in the descriptions of the candle shop and the sunsets and moonrises. Very good work.
--Stevie Cassandra Pendragon
An EnduReview
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