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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dcsanders
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20 Public Reviews Given
20 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Damian S Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I like the idea and concept. I think you have a great start to a story, but it feels like it needs a little more. Tell us more about the sister's relationship and more about the global warming. Good job so far

D
2
2
Review by Damian S Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
this is an interesting work. I may not agree 100% with the theme, but you make strong and well balanced arguments. very well done
3
3
Review of First Drive  Open in new Window.
Review by Damian S Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
well done. Makes you want to cheer for the kid
4
4
Review by Damian S Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Well done. this is very creative and draws me in. Can't wait for more.
Some suggestions; you have some verb tense confusion here and there. i do that a lot too. check and make sure your paragraphs stick to one tense, past or present. Other than that, I think this is well done!

Damian
5
5
Review by Damian S Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I liked this story a lot. I'd like to know the context/rules of the contest and that might help my review. You packed a lot of story into 1200 words. If your contest has a word count restriction, you did a great job. If word count isn't an issue, you may want to flesh out the characters a bit more with some dialog or something.

Great job!

Damian
6
6
Review by Damian S Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sindri,

I love this story and wil be checking your portfolio to see it continued. You have a talent for characterizatiion and plot.

Damian
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