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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/deecy
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10 Public Reviews Given
10 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Reflection  Open in new Window.
Review by Deecy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
This was a very gripping story. If this experience has happened to you, I'm so sorry for what you've had to go through. I like your use of descriptive words in relation to how you felt. You wrote your anguish out really well. My heart breaks for this girl. Thanks for writing this so others can read it.
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Review by Deecy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
This was a good start to your story. I'm with Rechibald, meat is awesome! I think this is a very intriguing intro, it definitely left me with the feeling of wanting to learn more about what's happening. Like why are the retreating? Where are they? Will everyone make it out safely? Good job!
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Review of Listening  Open in new Window.
Review by Deecy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice poem, I liked the repetition of the opening line. I makes me want to listen to the fragments of your thoughts, it's very hypnotic sounding. I like your style of writing and your flow and descriptions are also very good. To me this feel dark, you may have not meant it to be but it does to me. I like it, good job! Thanks for writing, I could find nothing wrong with this.
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Review of Dooms Day  Open in new Window.
Review by Deecy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Thank you for telling your story and reliving that tragic day to let us the readers know more about you. There was a misspelled word rode should be road and also the particular, should be this particular. I am very glad that no one lost their lives that day and that a stop light was put in. This was a very touching read. Thanks for writing.
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Review of The Old Man  Open in new Window.
Review by Deecy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
O k, I'm going to be very honest with you, this story has promise. It also has a lot of run on sentences and some spelling mistakes. I couldn't read it like that so I grabbed a sheet of paper and made corrections as I went along. Some were simple mistakes and some words I took out or rearranged in a different way. I don't know how I can get the changes to you, I'm still very new here. I guess you could email me and I will send them back to you. The way I counted it, your story has 62 lines in it and these are all the lines that need changing or correction in some kind of way. Lines: 2, 3, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 25, 26, 27, 28, 44, 46, 48, 52, 61, 62. Now I counted every line, even if it was really short. If you want the specifics of what each line contained please email me. This is more like what someone would do if they had proofread your work before posting it. I will say don't be discouraged, you did really well with the dialog part. The talking back and forth between Wisdom and Matt was very good. This was a good beginning, it just needs to be polished up a bit. Please review my story too, I only have one posted. Thanks for writing.
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Review of See Yourself  Open in new Window.
Review by Deecy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I seem to be on a roll with introspective pieces today, anyhoo on to you and your work. I thought this was very good, I liked how at fist the point of view was third person, just speaking about a girl you see. In the end it wind up being you all along. I'm into happy endings, but I like the ugliness of this the real, raw struggle of a hard, fast lifestyle. This is such an honest look at addiction and possibly depression. The realness of the friends on the outside looking in and not knowing what to do, and trying to help but being pushed further away. Thank you for this, I like your style.
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Review of How I live now  Open in new Window.
Review by Deecy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for sharing your story, what a very courageous thing for you to do. I hope that your dreams of becoming a motivational speaker comes to pass. The beginning was very sad, but by the end I was smiling. This story was compelling and inspirational, no matter what the circumstances are in the beginning, with hope and a little love and caring, we can overcome and shine beyond the darkness.
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Review by Deecy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
First and foremost your title grabbed me, I comment on that because when I write I have trouble coming up with great titles for my stories. You had a few spelling errors, but that's ok. Before posting slowly read your work out loud to see how it sounds to you. I'm sure you will see where the couple of errors are, they are very minor. I liked the questioning of God, but at the end no matter if you believe in him or not, He sent an angel to save you. Thanks for writing.
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