This is a beautifully written and moving piece, enriched by fluid dialogs and tridimensional characters. The final scene was particularly powerful, sad and sweet at the same time.
You definitely deserve full marks.
Don't stop writing, you are talented!
Quite an enjoyable story ,I particularly liked the line "if Oliver Twist himself were to walk up to her and ask her for more, please give him some more, she wouldn't have been so startled". The only line I'm not so sure about is when you say "Aunt Hilda smacked him one upside the head", shouldn't that be smacked him on the head? Just my opinion though.
Keep up the good work!!
Debs
All in all a very good piece, the dialogues are fluid and believable and the descriptions quite effective. The only minor criticism I have is that I would have liked to know a little more about Bloodaxe's background, the way he thinks and the motivations that guide his acts. That said I think that the writer has done an excellent job in providing a pleasant and exciting reading experience.
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