Sweet Pea sounds like a wonderful old girl. Keep writing of things you know about, where you live and what you love. People will read your stuff. Sweet Pea, I got a kick out of reading about Sweet Pea. Best regards, Alabama
Nothing less than what I would expect from the talented Miss Areida. Excellent dialogue, good imagery, believable characters. My only suggestion would be to give the child another name. For readers of your previous pieces, "Addie" may be too close to home and suggest the unthinkable - that this is a non-fictional story. And fiction is what I truly hope it is. Will read the other parts on separate days. Nurture this talent. Put it on the Shameful Plug Page and get some other feedback.
Very well expressed. It describes the angst, disappointment and inadequacies felt by most artists, writers in particular. But your resolution seems to be a sensible one. To use a cliche,"It's the journey that counts; not where you end up." Five stars to you. You're a good writer.
Well done. A straightforward and nonemotional essay about overcoming physical disability. And beautifully written it was, befitting a scholar of English Lit.
Insight, compassion and empathy are precious gifts not bestowed on all. Neither is such a tight, eloquent style of writing. From where I sit, you are a rich, talented and fortunate person.
Good job, Arieda. I liked the present tense, first person approach. And, as before, I really enjoy your dialogue. Stay with it; you are an excellent story teller with wonderful word skills. Best wishes to your little sister and to your West Point Cadet big sister.
Great, tender story. Your granddaughter definitely sounds like an angel and is lucky to have a loving Nana. Keep writing these kinds of pieces, Mrs. Storyteller. You are good.
Okay, Areida, after reading "Hide and Seek," just had to read another one. Again, very well done. I especially enjoyed the story because of the Army connection (I'm a retired Army Colonel). Plus, I have two daughters, two grandaughters and four god-daughters who live next door. My wish is that one (or more) of them is blessed with the writing spirit, such as you are. My gosh, and you're only fifteen! I'm putting you on the "Favorites" list along with Pensive, Katsy, Esprit, Tor, MayLee and the other really famous ones...meaning that I anticipate reading some more of your material. And soon.
Whoa, this is a 360 departure from Flight of the Soul. Since Chapter 6 wasn't posted this morning, thought I'd check in on another of your stories. Since I hate airports,planes and crowds, I began reading with a little trepidation. Then, a hijacking; Oh no! And then, James Bond disguised as an AARP grandmother. I liked it; are we gonna find out more about Madge, or was this just a writing exercise? Good job, Katsy
What a story! Dialogue was great and using the present tense gave the story some extra zip. I thought you used it very effectively. Your characters were realistic and one came away with the feeling that Bryan and Diane deserved each other.
I liked the short paragraphs too. It kept the reader involved. Good job. Alabama
This Halloween poem was beautifully done, really. I know little about poetry, but I know what I like, and I liked this. The reading was easy, the word flow was smooth and the cadence was gentle. So, why don't you have more pieces posted? I sensed from your poll that you were just beginning to write again and maybe were a little reluctant. Don't be. Write something else. You're good. Alabama
You've got mail! Isn't it a thrilling thing to open your Writers.com page and see that you've got a message? Maybe it's even from another writer who has read your stuff. As to your poll, I'm just a life-long story teller who wants people to tell me that my material is good, or funny, or well written. A reflection, perhaps, of latent childhood insecurities. Alabama
What a great read. Excellent word pictures and imagery. So many good Appalachian lines in this. Being from the South, I can identify with so many of them. "Mosied, Crawdads, Company houses, outhouses,rattler snakes, and clothes on the line" all have meaning to me (although I don't know a lot about bleached baby diapers).
I cannot begin to tell you how much I enjoyed it. If I were smart enough to make suggestions, I think I would recommend that you separate the story into about twice the number of paragraphs. There are simply too many jewels of phrases and words to be camouflaged by long paragraphs.
I've just read your testimonial to Mr. Rogers, even though you wrote it back in 2003. As you can see, I rated it a five. Why? Because the writing was impeccable; the tone, sincere; and more importantly, I felt a sense of empathy. Both of my sons were great fans of the TV's Mr. Rogers and were nurished by his easy manner and mellifluous voice. I did not realize that he was a Presbyterian minister. One of my sons who watched him on TV is also. How about that! I've written too much but just wanted you to know, belatedly, how I enjoyed your piece and admire your craft. Hope you're still writing. Alabama
This is way beyond my genre. Being an old guy, I usually don't read this kind of material. But I must tell you that your talent is immense. I was captivated with the word map and couldn't put your book down. I don't know how old you are but you write like a seasoned veteran. Write on and may the force be with you. Looking forward to the next installment. Alabama
God, how desperately I hope that Natalie was not your sister. How utterly poignant, noble, hurtful and brilliant was your prose. I cannot begin to tell you how wonderful is your talent. Your piece hurt my soul, and started me thinking about all those age-old questions. Maybe, just maybe, that's what gifted word-people are meant to do...provoke the hard, unanswerable questions. A memorable piece. And peace be with you.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dickwambsganss
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 7:10pm on Nov 10, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
