Max, thanks for sending me the link to this. I have now read it and, overall, I enjoyed it.
A couple of things I would like to mention as follows:
I appreciate that this is the first chapter of your book, but I miss having any back-story about either Kevin or Khalid or, them as a couple. Maybe you intend to introduce this later as flashback (which is entirely valid). Failing that, I have no handle on Khalid or who he was. I need to know the characters in order to care about them.
Secondly, it might work better if Kevin comes along to find Khalid already dead and crowd around him. More dramatic and mysterious, maybe?
Anyway, good work so far.
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