You had me at the beginning sentence. A terrific start to a novel/short story, however you choose to finish it. I will be looking forward to reading the rest of the story. The characters are interesting and you ended on a suspenceful note. Very creative and unique.
You have expressed beautifully and eloquently what it is like to find the "right" therapist. They are life savers. It took me many years for me to find a wonderful lady who spoke to me and listened, too. There are some terrible ones out there. Many people give up. Your poem talks to them, to keep seeking that right person. Blessed be that you found yours. I hope you sent this to him/her.
Absolutely beautiful! I loved the moonlight also. I love staring at a full summer moon. It begs me to write something! You have expressed the feeling perfectly. I really liked the line about "dark blue ink in silver moonlight" Perfect! I wouldn't change a word. It really is something we are born with, isnt it? The need to write, the passion, the addiction, its normal as breathing. I am in real pain in my soul when I have "writers block" Keep writing, I'll keep reading!
I love good free verse, I try it myself. You have a gift for it! I loved the choice of words and how you arranged them. I get it, the words are always out there, waiting to be written. We all search for just the right one, just the right pattern. You did a terrific job. I enjoyed reading it.
This isnt the worst I've ever read! But I have to admit some of it was my own. Keep writing. You really had something to say and you did it in rhyme, which I find impossible to do. If this is autobiographical, you really got your point across in a very creative way.
A very beautiful poem. It has a very old fashion feeling to it, which is good. It stays within the style through-out. Exceptionally well done. Of-course, I'll marry you! :)
Though it is a bit rambling, I guess that was point of the exercise. I agree with you, for the most part. You have expressed your thought processes with great feeling and logical explainations. I still have believe, more for my own sanity that there is some good, kind people out there. And I think we do have a purpose to being here. Believe in what "the church" has tried to stuff down our throats? no way. I have over the years developed my own set of beliefs. The world can be a very depressing place and maybe its sticking my head in the sand, but loving and finding your passion can get one through the tough times. Sorry if I am the one rambling now. I enjoyed your well written piece. You certainly have the talent.
dj (yea, me too)
While I understand why you choose purple, but it is a little difficult to read. Maybe its just my old eyes :) There is so so much here! It is brimming with youth and energy. You have captured all that is good in people. The need and thirst for all that life has to offer. It almost reads like a character description. Maybe it will lead into a series or set of poems, dwelling into more detail into some of the points you made. Great job! Keep writing!
To be honest, this is perfect. I would not change a word or stanza. It brought tears and memories. I have lost so many people I've loved even before they left this earth. But like your writer, I know I will see them again. So while your poem is sad, it is stil hopeful and full of love. I don't usually like rhyming verse, but this certainly is the exception. Blessed be.
I loved the start of this free verse! It shows such honest and raw emotion. But ( isnt there always:) ) I wish you had continued the thought and flow of the poem. You are really on to something! I would have liked have read more about "why" for the first stanza! The reading can tell clearly there is great feelings in your writing. I, for one, would like to see them expressed. Keep going!!!
The first few lines grabbed my imagination and I think flowed beautifully. It brought the very feeling of spring to the mind. The graceful entrance of the light touch of warm winds changing our wold. I could almost feel the breeze across my face. The only suggestion I would have, and it may be just me. But I would not begin lines 5 and 6 with "it", I don't think either lines needs it to be clear. They both could stand alone. I really enjoyed reading this! especially with all the snow outside my window.
dj
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