Wow. This is an intense depiction of what is going on a teenage killer's mind. Well played out and chilling. I like the flow of your story. It was easy to read and easy to understand. You write with the reader in mind which is good. 'the venom within my heart began to nourish my desires'. This is some powerful writing. Did you leave the door open for more killing? Hmmmmm
Nicely done.
Joe
I couldn't think of a better title. Your writing flows as if your having a conversation. I can really sense the passion you have for the Lord. If you don't mind, I'd like to print this and tape it to the inside of my Bible. You were smart to copywright this poem. I can see this ending up in a hymnal someday. God bless and keep writing.
Very rythmic and enjoyed the flow. No need now to fear. Sometimes in life we don't see the help that is right before our eyes because we're so bent on doing things our own way. I like the darkness to light metaphor. One question for you. In the 4th paragraph, shouldn't it read 'dusted' instead of dust? Good work here.
Joe
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/doclan6
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 6:02pm on Nov 16, 2024 via server WEBX1.