Look at that, short and sweet, beautiful and meaningful. I commend you, Doris Ruth, is it? This is an inspiring and touching story in a convenient little plot. Definitely going into my favorites.
My advice? Just keep writing more stories like this. The world will smile a bit more. I just did.
Very cute, the message relayed loud and clear, the personalities vivid and familiar, and the story is understandable. The format was very good too, easily readable.
My only advice, is that the story could have dived deeper into the "why's", like 'Why can't little kids do certain things' or 'Why did Ello want to be big?' or 'Why did he want to become normal so suddenly when he did get big?'.
But other than that, it was a very charming piece of children's literature.
This is a good piece of literature, provocative, striking and quite straightforward. It is able to make the reader not only 'feel' that there is something he must do now, but that he cannot go on without having done something.
This piece speaks to the reader's heart, not just the mind. The outcry of the victim screams unto the reader, which can be quite annoying, but is effective to add drama, anger and a hurt-comfort vibe.
We can all see that you are very passionate for this subject matter, Geniusgal, my only advice, is that you make it more that the victims are pleading and not waging war against us, and also refrain from unnecessary addition of punctuation marks.
Nevertheless, it delivered just what it promised and honestly, I was perspiring and experiencing a pre-hyperventilation at the presence of your very powerful personification of the tigers.
The first part might be a turn-off, but the middle part is definitely a good portrayal of a parody.
The strange mixture of random characters from different fairy tales was hilarious, and it did well to make the story more comedic, but sometimes if a story is ONLY funny, it loses the entertainment value it would have had if it was also more charming and/or witty.
The ending could have used just a little more work, and it would be good to distribute the inside jokes evenly among the parts. Also, I suggest you change the rating from "E" to "ASR" or "13+" due to the mention of death, kill and of gunfire.
This story does well as a parody and has many moments of laughter (personally, I love the Snow White and Rapunzel bits) but it can be made better. And I believe you have the talent to make it better, Quester.
A fantastic and simple way to become active and keep your writing mind from going stale, especially after a long hiatus from writing. Any writer, whether a beginner or an expert, will surely be able to contribute and have a little fun with this little wonder.
There's nothing more heart-warming than to see an integrated group of writers, novices and veterans alike, coming together to give their input and polishing a single community-made story. This is a great way of calling all writers to come together and let their talents (and wacky imaginations) flow.
That simply blew me away. As I went down the first few lines, I didn't really understand what was going on, but then as it continued, the mental picture formed...
...and then that last word hit me hard. My hands perspired and my heart beat just a little faster. This is very impressive flash poetry with a suspenseful build-up. I like it.
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