\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dragonguygto
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
1 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by EA Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I think it would be better if we had a clear point of view of who the reader is following. If any of the characters are going to be important, they should have names. It's a little confusing with "The guard said this" or "The other guard said that". Description could also help; describe the castle, what Marissa was feeling, was she anxious? Proud? Glad? It's a good skeleton for the story, but I think it needs more meat on the bones, if you know what I mean.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dragonguygto