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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ducky911
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Review by C. S. Bell Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
The twist at the end of your story is indeed a wonderful one. I appreciated the thought put into this story. The only things I would say about grammar are that in this sentence, 'Growing only in caves of the Himalayas, this flower is also one of the most beautiful flowers.', the word also doesn't quite make sense as you did not mention anything about the flower before it being beautiful after the absolute phrase 'Growing only in caves of the Himalayas'. It would make more sense to exclude the 'also' or add in something like 'Growing only in caves of the Himalayas, this is a very delicate flower but also one of the most beautiful.' The word also implies two statements of a subject in one phrase. Then later in the story, 'After close observation of the flowers under the bubble by each guest.' is a fragment unless you add a comma after the sentence as opposed to a period to make another absolute phrase before the man speaks. Otherwise this is a great story!
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