Not bad. I loved word finds, and this was on one of my favorite authors of all time. I noticed that some of your words were not crossed out when found though. Don't know if that's a technical glitch. Great work there, though. Keep on writing.
Nice start. This can really be expanded into a novel. You might want to start at the very beginning though. I'm not really sure if your main character is dead, or not. It would make for better character building, that way. It was a great read, all the same. Keep on writing.
Hi, nice piece you have there. I think most women would agree with you that this is basically what we want - not expensive dinners at hotels and restaurants, but just somebody to pamper us. Nice insight. I love your characters, and the prose you've written the poem in. Keep on writing.
Wow! This was great! I love the story, thanks. I liked the idea of Willow dreaming of Paisley even before she was born. And Tarot's a great name. All in all, this was a really good story. How about trying to get it published? Good stories should be shared. Keep on writing.
Nice one. It's not easy to write a story with split timelines, but you did quite well. It would be great if you could have shown both timelines simultaneously, but I guess that's asking too much. Great plot there. Maybe you can opt to get this published? Keep on writing.
Hi, I've read quite a number of campfire works on WDC over the years. Yours is one of the longest so far. It's a nice storyline. Well done, guys. I wish it was still updated though. There seems to be so much more to the story. I'd like to find out what happens next. Keep on writing.
Hi, this is a great piece of work. I loved it, and I sympathize with all you've gone through. Writing the poem must not have been easy. It's a really good piece of work though. If you're feeling up to it, why not try to get this published. Keep on writing.
Hmm, this is quite a good read. The storyline is not really unique. Most children, at one point or another, think up imaginary friends to help them get through their childhood. I remember having a whole host of people in my room at night as a child. You've explained the phenomenon quite well. Just a thought - as this is such a heavy topic, perhaps you can use a lighter tone, to tell of Megan's experiences. Keep on writing.
Nice song you got there. It'll be better still if you can get a melody to go with it. It does remind me of Christmas holidays. I can see linkages to famous holiday songs - you've captured the atmosphere of Boxing Day exactly. Nice work there. Keep on writing.
Nice one. I love the humor in it. Robots get more and more advanced everyday, and yes, probably, we'd be obsolete one day as well. Great storyline. I just spotted one mistake though - when DTH-1 was put into the incinerator, it should be "watched through the window", not "thru". Just my two cents. Keep on writing.
Nice tribute there. I like the way you portrayed your memories of your grandmother. It was really touching. I'm glad you released the kite out in the end. It was a great conclusion to a nice piece. Perhaps you can consider getting this published. Keep on writing.
Hi, I just started reading this, and it's already gone into My Favorites. I love the world you've created. You're right though - the first few chapters are a little draggy. I can see why - you need to establish your characters, and the world they live in. Just a suggestion - how about describing these through dialogue instead or prose? That way, the characters speak for themselves. Just my two cents though. Please update soon. Keep on writing.
Hi. I don't normally read a lot of poems. Your title grabbed my attention, though. I like this one. You've managed to incorporate your love for your girlfriend into the poem. I can well imagine the relationship here. Nice work there. Keep on writing, and good luck.
Nice work there. The first line already got me captured (maybe because I'm a geek myself). I love the way your characters interact with each other. You've got a nice uncomplicated storyline as well. How about expanding this into a longer story? I'd love to hear what happens to your characters. Keep on writing.
Nice story, but your chapters are really super short. Are you targeting kids instead? If you are, you might want to relook at your language - most of the words are too difficult for children to understand. I like the plot though - Smokey appears real to me. Keep writing.
Hi, nice story. You've got the characterization of the students down to a pat. Just a small suggestion - you might want to use Italics, or a single quote system to pin down the thoughts. That will keep them separate from the speeches, and still indicate that they are not part of the main story telling. Just my two cents. Keep on writing.
Nice and humorous. I love the way you included local culture into such a short story. And there's even a spoof on The Hobbit! Great effort. Here's a suggestion - how about expanding this into a novel? It's great reading, and the plot is unique. Keep on writing.
Nice tribute. I love the way you've added in pictures of the people you wrote about - it makes them so much more real to me. I've only just realize that your stories are all based on real life characters - that is great! Your writing makes their deeds more powerful somehow. Keep on writing.
This is great - real poetic justice. I love your characters and storyline. You should think about making this into a novel, just by adding in the backstory and leaving this as the climax of the story. I love the idea that he would rather take all the money into space with him than leave it for his wife and sons. Keep on writing.
Nice attempt. I'm sure the kids will love it. You seem to have mentioned fathers twice though - your dad D and your papa P. That might confuse young kids. It's still a great piece of work, even if you do seem to have a lot of cousins. Nice one. Keep on writing.
Oooh, I love this poem. It describes quite vividly how rambunctious family life can be. I like the part where she mentions that her husband had gone off to play golf - it's really reflective of life in general. Also, the suggestion that Grandma would have a hot meal ready for them is great. Nice one. Keep on writing.
Nice one. From the frying pan and into the fire... I liked it. You could, perhaps, develop the characters a little more. How did Michelle meet her new husband? What did she do after she left Dennis? Even after I finished the story, I feel that I do not know the people in there well. Just my two cents, though. Keep on writing.
Hi, nice story there. It was humorous, in a way. I really pity your main character though. All that for a sound? And it seems to be happening again at the end.
I quite like the whole story, including how you developed your character. It's refreshing, in a way. Keep writing.
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