\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dwlewis798
Review Requests: OFF
2 Public Reviews Given
17 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Reflections  Open in new Window.
Review by Sid Falcon Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
There is a lot I like about this poem—I have the sense of the mirror reflecting back the stranger and I feel the person looking in being numb and disoriented. I think the lines describing the disheveled hair, the dirt, and the facial pallor are well crafted and contribute the poem’s ambiance. I would enjoy more details like this—ones that reveal her, not just physically, but, by extension, the person behind the eyeballs.

Ticky-tacky points. Leafs vs. leaves???

Sometimes less is more (the reader can fill in some things) From early on we know this person is female: look at where you say "her" or "she" and consider if the words are necessary.

I don’t really follow the emotional thread in the second to last stanza.

I can see this piece being reworked into a set of ensemble poems. Staying focused on one aspect of the character’s apathy or resolve, expanding an element of her psychological condition might allow the reader increased access to a private anguish. That would be an intriguing, if not unsettling journey.

Keep on writing.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dwlewis798