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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dysfunction
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4 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
4.0

Enjoyed the read!

3rd paragraph, first sentence: "...live live..." and "...long, separate flights home,..."
For the former; Meant to be the end of a sentence or one word? Or missed a "to"?
For the latter; Too many commas? Your call. I think commas are pretty subjective.

'... where we live. Living out our days hardly...'
'...where we live out our days hardly...'
'...where we live to live out our days hardly...'

'...long, separate flights home where...' (?)
'...long separate flight home. Home where...' (?)

Also, " to ourselves, Are you my spouse?' ” in the same paragraph is missing the first set of quotation marks.

Of course if you did any of those for style purposes, by all means keep them the way they are! I'm just saying although the comma and quotation things didn't even register to me on my first read through of this item, my English professor would've said something so I feel like I should as well in case you care.

(That would be a deliciously random marriage! *Wink* )
2
2
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
4.5

Nice, hope to see more.

Nothing caught my eye as "wrong" or out of place when I read it; the whole thing flowed together nicely.
3
3
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Write it all out! I'm very interested.

4/5 for teasing me with a trailer.
4
4
Review of Tea or Coffee?  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I'm from the US:

Tea doesn't destroy my stomach and make me feel sick afterwards, and if there were more of it in my cupboard I would definitely drink it more!

However... coffee wakes you up much more effectively.

I voted "Mostly coffee, with some tea"

Gave it a 5/5 - I'm as interested as you seem to be in knowing people's opinions on this!
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