There seemed to be a few holes in some of the lines/thoughts but I was able to fill them in with my own. But it kinda left me feeling like the author wrote it in a hurry. Which is ok it was just kind of jarring to the reader.
But I was able to get the jest of the story and thought it was really cute and funny.
Yikes! That's a very interesting way to look at the church and the father. I personally feel the father that looks at all these atrocities is saddened by them. He has given each and every one of his children the option should I do bad or good.
I'm sure glad I'm not the father because I would have ended each and every one of them that I thought was bad.
Ha, and then after the smoke has cleared there wouldn't' be anyone left on the planet.
Anywho don't get me on my soapbox. The writer did well in reflecting his/her neighbor's point of view. It was easy to read through and I was able to understand.
This was easy to read and to comprehend what was happening. I know how it is to have your office moved while your working and having to get work finished at the same time.
Wow, good start to a good drama. I hope the tragedy hadn't occurred. I could be hooked into reading the next part, which is what you want a reader to feel, but there is one major problem the grammar needs much work. It makes it hard for the reader to read.
If the grammar was cleaned up I would come back and read it because the story is interesting.
Wow, heavy duty message here. I felt the force behind the letters. Especially so with the use of the word 'you' although I'm all for the message given here I felt like I was the one being scolded. I do realize that that's what was needed for people to get the message, I just didn't like the feeling.
I can tell the author has a great passion for the message and I do hope people will notice the tragic state of our education system.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 6:07am on Nov 16, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "