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116 Public Reviews Given
344 Total Reviews Given
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1
1
Review of Bookmarks  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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PLEASE NOTE: The following consists of my opinion only.
Use or *Recycle* at your discretion. *Wink*



Flow Diction and Other Structures
At first glance, the poem appears to be bulky, and I wasn't sure if it would read smoothly. However, as one to not judge a poem by its form ;) I set off to reading it... and was swept away in a gentle flow of a well considered poem. The small alliterations here and there added another dimension to the poem. Overall, I found that there is nothing to pick at in this section. This is a very nice piece.

Emotion and Imagery
Beauty is in the eye of the reader. The passage speaks loudly of this theme and I find myself wondering what book may have sparked such a lovely telling. Personally, I was instantly reminded of the book that I've had only a year and yet read to pieces.

Most prominently, "treasure trove of tales oft told", stuck out. It gave the image of pages in a worn book being flipped through as well as smell of an old book. I can also empathize with "fingertip erosion", "new nuance to the past", and finally... "fall asleep, book in hand, to dream of heroes." All of these I found to be exceptionally penned.

Technical Stuff
In stanza six, line 6: there is a "-h" sticking off of the word heart" Possibly a typo?

Final Thoughts
This was a remarkable poem, and I'm glad to have had the chance to read it!
I rated this a 5 because: There was only one noted mistake that did not detract from the poem as a whole.


Review 3/5
2
2
Review of Paragliding  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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PLEASE NOTE: The following consists of my opinion only.
Use or *Recycle* at your discretion. *Wink*


Diction and Syntax
I am always amazed while reading your poems at the command you exhibit over words and turning of phrases. At the beginning of the poem, the words read like thunder and slowly with the progression of the stanzas, the sounds turned smooth and calm. It was an interesting experience to read this aloud.

*Burstp*I felt like the "grand scheme" was a little bit of a let down after the first several lines. There might not be a better way to turn this phrase and still have it fit into the poem, but at the same time it's a phrase that has become dulled over time. It doesn't have the same power as it used to.


*Burstp*I particularly enjoyed the last two lines in the middle stanza where you speak of perspectives shifting. Beautiful syntax!


Emotion and Imagery
This poem was visually dynamic. I could easily see the silence and wind. The main subject appeared large in my head despite the addition of "impossibly minute" but this did not diminish the integrity of the words.
*Burstp*"dwarfing ripple of silken sail" was my personal favorite.


As it was a great visual experience, it also connected emotionally - though not with the same degree of impact. The last stanza was the most powerful emotionally, as this was when the speaker finally relates the experience to their own thoughts.

*Burstp*Perhaps this would have been a greater connection if, instead of the impersonal "The currents, liquid air, moving towards the inevitable." was written as "moving me towards the inevitable." This would help with drawing more personal connections to the theme.


Final Thoughts
*Burstp*I gave this a 4.5 because it could use a little polishing with some phrases, but otherwise was near perfect. I look forward to reading more of your work very soon!

2/5 reviews

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3
Review of Leaving  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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PLEASE NOTE: The following consists of my opinion only.
Use or *Recycle* at your discretion. *Wink*


Flow Diction and Other Structures
I find myself breathless at the end of this poem because of it's brief flight and sharp, poignant ending. Diction is superb.

I only have one negative about this piece- the eleventh line. It feels a little out of place, and following the fragmented thought before it with the same feel to the phrase, leaves something to be desired. This line does not read like it fits into the puzzle, but more like it's the same shape as the piece before it. Though I like the image this line produces it could use a little twisting around. Following that, the use of the word "lone" is a little bland because it is so often used with the "lone wolf" scenario. A word like "single" or "lost" might produce a better connotation.

I particularly enjoyed the bit about the exclamation point of existence. The scarf to the artery metaphor is original and exciting. The entire line has beautiful syntax.

Emotion and Imagery
I felt this poem very strongly. It provided a very eerie yet calm quality. I saw a lot of greys and a brilliant contrast of red in the images. Most strongly, the line about no longer needing that exclamation of existence resonated. There was nothing lacking here.

Final Thoughts
Beautiful, well penned. This will keep me thinking about the message of death and the bright streak of color living leaves behind.

Review 1/5
4
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Review of Burned  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
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PLEASE NOTE: The following consists of my ramblings only.
Use or *Recycle* at your discretion. *Wink*


First Impression
Hi Coffeebean Author Icon, I came upon your poem while sifting through your portfolio today and was interested in what inspiration you found while shopping one day, and how it played into "Burned".

My first read through, I was totally confused through the first few stanzas and was thinking, "why in world would you go home with someone you just met in the store"... however.. after finishing the poem, it all clicked *Idea* and the second time through the poem was hilarious and I enjoyed it a lot!

Flow Diction and Other Structures
The rhyme and the rhythm was what really kept me going through your poem despite my confusion with the ideas. The lines flow fairly well, even if more so in my head than out loud. The following points highlight some of the more obscure interruptions with the flow:

*Bullet* In the second stanza, last line, I was tripped up by the wordiness or extra syllables that didn't want to fit. Here you write side to side, I was one of the best., but how about omitting the "one of" phrase so it reads smoother?

*Bullet* The second area that seemed to stand out was in the third stanza in the last two lines, where the two thoughts don't seem to connect in a fluid form. How about trying "and though my life began to wane, I remained faithful and true". I feel that this would also help overall, as you tend to use a slightly repetitive form for all the "buts" in the poem, and this may help to balance them out.

*Bullet* Related to the point above about your use of "but" throughout the poem, I would also recommend changing the "but to my pain and despair" in the last stanza, to "and to my pain and despair" because this line isn't negating any thoughts before it.


Emotion and Imagery
Throughout the poem (the second time through) I was more thoroughly struck by the emotions being experienced by the character *Wink* and thought that this was a really neat poem because of it.

Definitely humorous with its little twist at the end. Very cute too!

Final Thoughts
Keep up the awesome writing, and I look forward to reading more of your work soon!


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..
5
5
Review of Summer  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
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PLEASE NOTE: The following consists of my ramblings only.
Use or *Recycle* at your discretion. *Wink*


Title Teaser and Tidbits
Hiya Taylor Author Icon! I came across your poem while searching for newbies to read and was drawn in by the title of your piece, since summer is just around the corner.

I think that your teaser (item description) could use a little spicing up. I understand that you might want to inform people that this is your first poem, but it doesn't necessarily make me want to further investigate your item. A short description about why you chose the topic to write about, or why it is important to you would be more suited to the piece. You can always mention the first poem thing inside the item at the very bottom in fine print if you still feel the need to.

The only other thing in this section that I wanted to point out is your choice for the genre. Teen and experience fit the profile, but the "educational" threw me off because I didn't sense it in the poem. How about something along the lines of "inspirational" or "nature" instead?

Item rating (E) is accurate *Thumbsup*

Flow Diction and Other Structures
Here, I had a number of relatively minor problems while reading. I couldn't really sense the direction that you wanted to go with creating a flow to the poem. The following are spots where I got tripped up the most:

*Bullet*In the first stanza where you write I bend down as I/ reach my hand to makes the motions that the speaker is doing seem choppy. To make this portion more fluid you might consider joining the phrases in a way like “I bend down and /reach my hand”.

*Bullet* Similarly, the repetition of “feel” and “feeling” that occurs in line four seems a little redundant. Here you might try something like “to feel the soft heat” therefore eliminating the double usage.

*Bullet*In the second stanza, I found the line breaks inconsistent with how you began writing the poem and how you ended the poem. This is especially true of the fourth line where the line extends really far out, in a way that is not just unpleasant to the eye. It sounds bad too. I would suggest playing around with either (a) shortening or getting rid of it, or (b) dividing it up between more lines.


In addition to not really grasping a definite flow in the poem, I found myself getting a little agitated with the constant use of “I” and “me” (they occur 16 times total in the poem). This creates a forced sound over the course of the poem, and although I am definitely NOT saying to get rid of all of them, I do think the poem would sound better if you could combine some of the phrases in more unique ways. In this way, it won’t sound as though there are a bunch of simple sentences strung together, and it gives a little flair to the ideas you are trying to convey.

As far as little details and small word choices go, I think that there are some that could use replacing. For example, where you use the word blue, there are a hundred different shades that could come to mind. Is it indigo, sky blue, blue-green, navy blue, or a deep sparkling blue? I also feel the same where you write about the old waves "going away". It sounds like they are going on a vacation. So instead, why not write that they are receding, or breaking?

Otherwise, I think you did a really neat job of dividing your ideas between the stanzas and across the poem as a whole. It begins with an action by the speaker, moves on to inner thoughts and some creative symbolism, and then makes a full loop to where the reader once again sees the actions of the speaker as they stir from their quite reverie. Good work!

Emotion and Imagery
I like the imagery you are integrating into these ideas a lot. The beach scene is an accurate one to include in an account of summer as well as it’s symbolism with the coming and breaking of old memories with the waves. It is lightly painted with both emotion and imagery. Particularly, I liked the lines "new memories for a/new summer". Very cute!

Technical Stuffs
These were a small number of spelling mistakes that should be attended to when you get the chance:
         Stanza: 2 Line: 2 DISSPEAR should be disappear
         Stanza: 2 Line: 4 TELING should be telling
         Stanza: 3 Line: 1 FLOWNING should be flowing

Final Thoughts
You have a good poem here; it just isn’t quite finished yet. Once you conclude organizing the flow and technical stuff, you will even have a great one. Please don’t hesitate to email me after making your edits if you are interested in me rating and reviewing your item again. Keep up the great work and write on!


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..

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Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hello Smallheart Author Icon, my name is Brae. After reading your item "With Irregular ThumpsOpen in new Window. [E], I have the following review to offer you. Please be aware that this review is meant to be constructive as well as encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please *Recycle*.


Impressions
I feel that is a beautiful poem but it needs a little structural work.


Structure
I liked the recurring theme of the poem: irregular thumps and the discordance. The placement of these phrases is very good and the words themselves tie some of the ambiguities back to the central meaning of the poem. The regular intervals at which they appear also helps the flow of the poem and, in turn, sound appealing when read out loud. While on the same subject, I would also like to point out that while the random rhyming that occurs in the poem wasn’t a terrifying detriment to the flow as a whole, if you should be looking to enhance the poem, you may consider closer rhymes.

I felt that the very first stanza really packed a powerful punch. It was wonderfully profound for such a simplistic observation. It drew me in, and for this I congratulate you. You have a great start for the poem here! However, after the initial stanza I got a little lost. The last line on the second stanza took me away from your theme. What I mean to say, is that even though the sounds still flowed and the words in general were nice enough, they didn’t really connect with the first part of the poem, or even the first part of the same stanza. I think that something more along the lines of “drop after drop- discordance” would tie the rain theme you were beginning, back into the overall theme. The same problem later occurred in the fourth stanza; only in this case, I think a little more needs to be reworked. The whole stanza doesn’t seem to belong to this poem. The words like “trickling” and “progresses” don’t evoke the same irregular and discordant sense that was being built. These words evoke more of a constant and pattern-like connotation. The last two lines of this stanza are even more vague and confusing. They don’t deal with anything you’ve written about in the poem. Don’t get me wrong, I think you have a good idea for this section, but it doesn’t work in the format you currently have it in. Just a little reworking will definitely get this where it needs to go, and then once you have it there… this poem will be outstanding.

In addition, I think that the title is not entirely suited to the poem. The poem doesn’t merely describe things that occur with “irregular thumps”, but rather, the poem goes a little deeper than this. Perhaps it would be more suitable to title it simply as “Irregular Thumps”. After all, this is the exact phrase you repeated throughout the poem. (You didn’t repeat the “with” part.)


Technicalities
Everything seems fine mechanically speaking except a little error in the last stanza. The “It’s” in the third line should not have an apostrophe.


Other Tidbits
WOW! What a poem and poet we have in the makings! Please be aware that I would always love to come back to rate and review this item again in the future when you have made your edits. I think this poem could go places when the rough edges are smoothed away.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go NoticedOpen in new Window..
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Review of Weathered Stone  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello Sanguinary Smiles Author Icon, my name is Brae. After reading your item "Weathered StoneOpen in new Window. [E], I have the following review to offer you. Please be aware that this review is meant to be helpful as well as encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please *Recycle*



My Impression
Upon reading this poem, I didn't really get the feel of being like the stone you described. As I read, the lines took on more of a tone of admiration for someone old and wise who has been exposed to a lot of the world's cruelties. The speaker seems to be showing me how beautiful this soul is because of how it was weathered by the elements. So although the description was off, the poem was still a fine read (especially out loud... but more on that later) and I did appreciate the thoughtfulness that oozed in the description of such a charmingly aged soul. Nice work!



Strengths
As mentioned above, reading the poem out loud led to a better perception. Word choice is great and vivid (especially in the last two stanzas). The flow is only interrupted a few times and each occurrence is far apart.

Distinctly, I felt the overall tone and the shifts in it, to be the strongest point (coinciding with theme, which I discussed above and give an A+ *Smile*). The changing over from light with the mentioning of sun and elements , to graying with the words weathered and grainy skin, to even darker with the descriptions of the forest (which I perceived as thick and jungle-like) as well as the line about the sinister child. The speaker goes on to lighten the tone shade by shade until the poem ends on the wonderfully high note of “She is beautiful

Most importantly, the poem kept me thinking about some people that I know and love who I can compare this poem with. AND the poem kept me interested. *Smile*



Suggestions and other Thoughts
There was one major break in the flow of the poem that snapped me back from seeing the little montage of your poem in my mind. As I am not one to like having a blaring notification tell me that I’m actually just staring at a bunch of words on a computer screen, I have a few suggestions that might help smooth things over.

Things are going great in the first part of the poem, right? You’ve got the sun, the grainy skin… then all of a sudden you have this little snarl:

Of the stone
That humbly watches,
More wise than the trees and streams
That grow and wither,
Rise and fall
The ebb and flow of harsh existence
That can only shape

I was very confused when I got to this and had to read it a few times to finally understand that the poem was saying that the stone is watching the ebb and flow that can only shape it, never get rid of it completely.

I think this is mostly attributed to the little bit about the trees and streams, which provides a nice touch of imagery, but essentially just elongates the space between the two more important ideas that need to be linked together more solidly. (Am I making any sense?)

I think that the description –referring to the “trees…grow and wither…rise and fall,” lines- can still be used in the poem. Actually, I highly recommend using them, it’s a brilliant description. But play around and see if they won’t fit somewhere else more comfortably.

Secondly, I was wondering about the comparison to the sinister child. I felt like the child wasn’t supposed to be a creepy peering at you from the shadows kind of character, but more like a… I am ashamed of myself and I belong in the shadows… kind of thing. In this case, it might be more proper to use a word like “desolate” to replace “sinister” so that the connotation would be closer to that of the next line where you use the words shamefully drawn to the shadows.



Overall
I really did enjoy the poem and I hope you continue writing more! I look forward to another visit to your portfolio in the future!
8
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Review of The Barrenesses  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hello Carol St.Ann Author Icon, my name is Brae! Please remember that the following review is meant to be helpful and encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please *Recycle*.



"The Barrenesses is a poem with a lyrical quality that aptly describes the trees in a wintry state, praising their creator. It is beautifully written and roles sweetly off the tongue, leaving the reader with an enchanting flavor to chew on for a while."



*Pencil*In addition to the above quote, I would also like to offer you these additional compliments and suggestions on your work.

*Pencil* I have no additional suggestions for this piece, it was very well written! Keep writing! I look forward to reading more of your work in the near future.

1/1 Reviews
9
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Review of Gold  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello Reba Smith Author Icon, my name is Brae. After reading your item " GoldOpen in new Window. [E], I have the following review to offer you. Please be aware that this review is meant to be helpful as well as encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please *Recycle* *Bigsmile*


Strengths


*StockingR* The level of detail and description creates a great deal of mental pictures without being overwhelming or over-exaggerated. I think you have a pretty good balance with the imagery. I am especially fond of the the first line and the last lines of the second and third stanzas.

*CandyCaneR* On an emotional level, I found myself being influenced very subtly by the presentation of nature and its small powers that were in the poem. It really got me thinking about the beauty of the desert and the lovely feel of the sun heating my skin.

*StockingR* Above all things, your diction and syntax are clever and well developed. The poem flows beautifully and the progression and shifts of tone between the stanzas give a very nice effect. Well done!



Suggestions


*CandycaneR* I encountered only one or two rough spots in the poem. The first occurs in the second stanza, where there is an acute lack of articles and makes for a couple of choppy lines. I had to re-read this stanza a few times to come to the conclusion that maybe it is supposed to occur like this. The more I read it, the more it fit, but it was still a tiny bit rough. Perhaps take a look at this?

*Stockingr* The second rough spot occurs in the last stanza where you write "like hawks extends her wings..." I think it might flow a little better as something close to "like the hawk extending her wings..."

Overall


*Candycaner* I found this poem to be very entertaining and a lovely description of the desert and the golden light of the sun. The poem was crafted with gorgeous imagery and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!

10
10
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hello Jaywalker Author Icon, my name is Brae! Please remember that the following review is meant to be helpful and encouraging and of my own (and sometimes very wrong) interpretation. Anything that you do not find to your liking, please recycle. *Bigsmile*

"Visible Reminders of Invisible Light is a heartfelt poem of a love lost and reminders found at every turn. The author uses beautiful imagery to encompass a message that runs straight into the readers mind... and stays there!"


*Shamrock*In addition to the above quote, I would also like to offer you these additional compliments and suggestions on your work.

*Shamrock*I didn't encounter (or notice) any errors (grammatical or otherwise) and found the poem to be very rich in meaning and detail. My favorite lines were "and clinked mugs to the secret beauty
of the grey before dawn"


*Shamrock* Thank you for sharing this piece, and keep up the great work!

1/1 Reviews
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11
Review of Spring Again  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello Tick Author Icon, my name is Brae. You are being rewarded by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUSOpen in new Window. [E] for giving such awesome reviews. After reading your item "Spring AgainOpen in new Window. [E], I have the following review to offer you. Please be aware that this review is meant to be helpful and encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please recycle. *Bigsmile*


My Interpretation

*MushroomR* The title is satisfactory, however, I felt as though a more appropriate title might be "Spring Awakes" or something along these lines. Anything that incorporates some of the magic the reader feels through the poem, back into the title. Phrasing it as "Spring Again" makes me, the reader, feel as though the narrator is explaining spring as something mundane that comes again and again.

*MushroomO* The setting is easy and difficult to determine at once. The reader can readily envision the season, but doesn't necessarily know where the narrator specifically is. I enjoyed the sense of mystery it left.

*MushroomR* In the body of the poem, the narrator/character is observant and thoughtful-traits that belong to those in love with the season spring.

*MushroomO* I picked up that spring is a season of joy expressed in the form of flowers, sunlight, rivers, etc. Reading even deeper into it, I thought of the poem as an extended metaphor where spring, that follows a harsh season like winter, was like joy after a long sorrow.

*MushroomR* Overall, this is a very nice poem and is refreshing to read with only a few bumps along the way.



Figurative vs. Realistic

*MushroomR* Reading through this poem again, but this time as a writer, I found myself a bit confused with a few of the lines and phrases in the poem. Though the imagery has a readable and great tone to it, there was only one major bump that I wanted to point out.

It occurred at the end of the very first stanza- a line of imagery that did not fit the subject it was supposed to describe.

The water’s curl up o’er their banks
And spray the rocks with foam,
River wet, for the first time this year.


In the above excerpt of stanza 1, the middle line (the one in red) gives off the image of sea foam clinging to a rock. However, the two surrounding lines are images of rivers on the interior of a land mass. An alternate interpretation is that the verb "curl" in the first line gives the idea of slowly rising waters which would not induce spray and foam on the rocks along the bank of the river. Replacing it with the verb "rush" would give off the proceeding images.

*MushroomR* I immensely enjoyed the personification of the spring flowers peaking their heads above the ground.

*MushroomO* In the poem, you used rhyme in the middle stanzas and not in the beginning or the end. While inconsistent, it gave a fluid feel to the to the extended descriptions of the season and put emphasis on the main points of the poem that were at the two ends.

*MushroomR* The images (save the one mentioned earlier) acted as a cohesive unit to describe the season with pointed clarity. As a writer, I commend your work on this piece through the use of figurative language. Nice work!


*MushroomR* As a writer, I always enjoyed using nature as a subject. I have written many poems for each of the seasons and enjoy your take on the rebirth of nature through this one.

*MushroomO* In real life, I feel that spring does contain the elements of magic and beauty you were able to frame in the poem. The use of figurative language you used helped to emphasize these characteristics.



My Favorite Part
The winds blow hard across the river
And comb the trees of winter


*MushroomR* I really enjoyed the image of a warm balmy breeze shaking snow off tree branches- very descriptive and real.



Technical Aspects and Suggestions

*MushroomR* There were no technical errors that registered as I read through the poem.

*MushroomO* Keep up the great work with your writing, I look forward to reading more soon!


12
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Review of Going Down Deep.  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hello Christina~Thanks StoryMaster Author Icon, my name is Brae! This review completes your auction win. Please remember that the following review is meant to be helpful and encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please recycle. *Bigsmile*

"With subtlety and boldness interlocking, Going Down Deep is a powerful poem that raises questions about human nature and characteristics. It is a wonderfully vivid poem that goes beyond just scraping the surface of who we are. It is a must read!"


2/2 Reviews
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Review of Computer Woes  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello JACE Author Icon, My name is Brae! After reading your poem "Computer WoesOpen in new Window. I have the following review to offer you in affiliation with {ritem:reviewing reviewers} as a reward for your own spectacular reviews. Please note that this review is meant to be both helpful and encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please recycle. *Smile*

Computer Woes is a poem many should be able to understand. Error 404 messages, blank screens, viruses, programs not responding... It's no fun!

Form/Punctuation
I thought the form and rhyme scheme ultimately suited the poem and it's theme. Nice!

My Favorite Part
The last stanza hit home the clearest and most precise. Sometimes it is very easy to think that all the trouble computers can cause isn't worth the wonder of Microsoft Office, or the Internet.

Suggestions
Keep writing and building your poetry portfolio!

Thank you for sharing this poem! I look forward to reading more soon.

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Review of Crimson Teardrops  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hello ~WhoMe???~ Author Icon, my name is Brae! Please remember that the following review is meant to be helpful and encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please recycle. *Bigsmile*

"Crimson Teardrops is a poem with vivid imagery and an even more powerful message attached to it. This poem that speaks against any and all forms of child abuse cuts close to the reader's heart. A wonderful piece deserving of the red ribbon it wears."


1/1 Reviews
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Review of My emancipation.  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hello ~ Santa Sisco ~ Author Icon. You are receiving the following quote free of charge for all of your hard work reviewing for Poetry Evermore. Please remember that the following review is meant to be helpful and encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please recycle. *Bigsmile*

"My emancipation is a brilliantly dark poem, unique in its powerful rhythm that seems to scream a message to the reader. The potent lines the author uses to convey these dark thoughts makes a great lasting impression!"


*Shamrock*In addition to the above quote, I also have a few comments about the poem that I would like to share.

*Shamrock*Throughout the poem, you have used a lot of semi-colons that do not really belong. At times you use them between clauses that should be separated by commas or dashes. I would suggest to look over the poem's punctuation a bit.

*Shamrock*For a first attempt at a dark poem, this was really great! You did a wonderful job with the intensity of it all. It was a really good read!

1/1 Reviews
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Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hello ~ Santa Sisco ~ Author Icon, my name is Brae! Please remember that the following review is meant to be helpful and encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please recycle. *Bigsmile*

"The Widow and the Poppy is a poem that oozes grief and sorrow. The symbolism used throughout the poem is outstanding and creates strong imagery. The reader can feel every break in the character's heart, and can quite clearly visualize the Poppy's weeping. A wonderful verse!"


*Shamrock* I thought I might include a little comment about a particular line that I read that you may want to look at. In the second stanza you write When asked "Who is your Dad?" I wondered if you meant "Who is my Dad?". It seemed to me as if the poem was describing the dead father of the child/ the husband of the main character. Not the father of the main character. (If that makes sense.)

*Shamrock* Overall, this happens to be my favorite poem of yours so far. Keep up the great work!

1/1 Reviews
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Review of Stained  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Katie Author Icon My name is Brae! I will be filling in as a guest judge for "The Elementalist ContestOpen in new Window.

After reading your poem "StainedOpen in new Window. I have the following review to offer you. Please note that this review is meant to be both helpful and encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please recycle. *Bigsmile*

Stained is a wonderful poem speaking of the horrors of murder, dirty waters, and stains that can never be removed. It is a poem that will leave any reader thoughtful.

Adherence to Prompt
I thought your representation of the prompt was highly creative and I loved the relation the poem had to Macbeth! The messages incorporated were great ones!

My Favorite Part
The blood streaks down
into the drain.
The water understands.


I like the vividness of these lines and the relation to the prompt evident in the images. Great job!

Suggestions
The poem was edited to perfection, and flowed exceptionally well. I have no suggestions for the piece. *Thumbsup*

Thank you for sharing this poem! I look forward to reading more soon.

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Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hello ~ Santa Sisco ~ Author Icon, my name is Brae! Please remember that the following review is meant to be helpful and encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please recycle. *Bigsmile*

"What is love, Daddy? is a creative poem that explores the emotion of love. It takes into account the complexity of this emotion brought about by all the different ways one can love. It is this cute poem that relates the love of a child and their father that really speaks volumes to the reader. An entertaining, exploratory verse!"


1/5 Reviews
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Review of Muse  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+
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Please remember that this review is meant to be helpful and encouraging. Anything you do not find so, please recycle.*Bigsmile*

"Infused with a little humor, a little sadness, a little trepidation, and a little insanity, the story Muse unfolds with grace and startling imagery. The story isn't over with the last word; the final punctuation mark invites many thoughts long after the reader walks away from the tale."


3/3 reviews
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Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+
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Please remember that this review is meant to be helpful and encouraging. Anything you do not find so, please recycle.*Bigsmile*

"Beautifully crafted to ensnare the reader in a web of emotion, In a Moment's Breath is a story that stops the heart and steals the breath. It is this tale of a child's death, of one mother's grief and regret, that is sure to bring tears to any reader's eyes."


2/3 reviews
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Review of Old Glory  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+
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Hello Mara ♣ McBain Author Icon! You are receiving this review brought to you by "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.. Please take a moment to read through the following quote.

"Bold, and chillingly written, Old Glory is a short story not to be forgotten. This thought provoking tale introduces the reader to the ghost of an ex Marine, who haunts and rewrites his view of independence and Forth of July celebrations. In a thrillingly detailed manner, the dynamic characters slyly reform the reader's own view-points making it a great story!


1 of 3 reviews
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Review of I'm here  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Daniel Harris Blacke Author Icon My name is Brae.

After reading your poem "I'm hereOpen in new Window., I have the following review to offer you. This review is meant to be constructive and encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please recycle. *Smile*

I'm hereis a very short poem full of internal and end rhyme that make the verse seem rhythmic. Short and well penned, this poem was an enjoyable read.


Form/Punctuation
The punctuation in the poem was inconsistent. You used an ellipses and a period to help conclude the verse, but more was needed.

*Right*The first line in the poem is a complete thought. Keeping no barriers between it and the next line presents the reader with a run-on sentence. I suggest a period or semi-colon.

My Favorite:

LINE:
I'm here to battle

COMPONENT:
On my first read, I couldn't determine whether this was a serious verse, or a whimsical one. The rhyme in it immediately made me think of Shel Silverstien, famous for whimsical short verses.

On the other hand, during my second reading, I caught a sense of seriousness with the words "battle", "shackle" and "soul". The poem really made me think twice, and contained many things in one. Nice job! *Thumbsup*

Suggestions
My only suggestion would be to check the punctuation. Other than this, you have wonderful poetic skills.

Thank you for sharing this poem! I look forward to reading more soon.

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Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello bitter/sweet Author Icon My name is Brae.

After reading your poem "A Pessimist's LamentOpen in new Window., I have the following review to offer you. This review is meant to be constructive and encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please recycle. *Smile*

A Pessimist's Lament is a poem that many, at some point in their lives, can easily relate to. The narrator's thoughts are spoken through a haze of true depression and bitterness that speaks volumes. A wonderfully powerful lament!

Form/Punctuation
As a free verse poem, the form is correct and allows the narrator's thoughts to flow freely and powerfully. All punctuation is in order as well, making the poem a very smooth read. Nice job! *Thumbsup*

My Favorite Part
I realize the reason why
Hope was in Pandora’s box:


The reference to Pandora's box definitely intensifies the poem.

Suggestions
I don't necessarily think that every line should be capitalized. I think that only the necessary words-the one that begin new sentences or proper nouns etc.- should be.

Other than that little suggestion, this was one great poem and I appreciate you sharing it. I look forward to reading more soon, so don't set down your writing pen!

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Review of In my dream...  Open in new Window.
Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Angelica Weatherby-Star on top Author Icon My name is Brae.

After reading your poem "In my dream...Open in new Window., I have the following review to offer you. This review is meant to be helpful and encouraging. Anything that you do not find so, please recycle. *Smile*

In My Dream... is a poem that really does contain a high, dream-like quality to it. The dazzling verses ensnare the reader into the poets own brilliant imagination, making this poem one wonderful read!

Form/Punctuation
I only picked up a misused comma for punctuation errors. *Thumbsup*

*Right*This misused comma comes in the first stanza itself. The comma you have placed after the second line would better be served as a semi-colon. You have two separate sentences united by the topic only. If you wanted to keep the comma, you would have to have a conjunction after it- something such as and, but, or, or so

My Favorite Part
leaving the grass wet
to glitter in the sun's
dawning light.


Suggestions
Other than fixing the little punctuation errors, I came across a little rough patch in the poem.

*Right* When you use a simile in the third stanza, you compare rain to large and wet spider sized drops. To be exact you used:

with rain as large
and wet
as spider sized drops.


Here it is a teensy bit redundant to use wet when describing the rain drops as well as confusing. It makes me want to ask Are they wetter than any other water? Maybe you could use something like rain drops large as spiders?

Other than that little bump, the poem you have here is a magnificent one. Keep up the great work and thank you much for sharing!

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Review by Brae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello sssam-on the way back Author Icon My name is Brae and after reading your poem "Think.. what else should our lives beOpen in new Window. I have the following review to offer you. Please note that this review contains my opinions and suggestions only. You are the ultimate deciding factor for your work!

Think... what else should our lives be is a very thought provoking poem that reaches down and touches the reader's soul in the most unfathomable way. A deep and astounding write!

Form/Punctuation
The only mistake is a little lone period on the fourth line in the first stanza.

Since you do not have any punctuation in the poem (except the ellipses on every stanza's first line) it is inconsistent. Just the removal of the excess punctuation mark will correct the mistake entirely.*Smile*

My Favorite Part
Of composing each note to create that most celestial melody

This was a wonderfully musical line that struck a chord in me.

Suggestions
Only that you just remove the lone period as explained earlier, and keep writing poetry!

Thank you for sharing this poem! I look forward to reading more soon.

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