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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/elodnumbernine
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37 Public Reviews Given
37 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
When I give reviews, I will strive to be as honest as absolutely possible. I point out mostly good, and try to critique anything I may notice from the readers perspective. This in turn is to allow them to notice things that they may have over looked as the writer who can clearly see the picture in their own heads. If I can find nothing good about the story that I am either requested to over look or have decided to take on the challenge myself. I will be highly respectful and tell them my opinions and nothing beyond that. I very seldom cover grammatical problems, because at this point in time, I am really working on some self tutoring in punctuation and other methods to slow down my writing process for a more refined and less confusing story. So I currently find myself unfit to tackle a topic that i myself am still learning.
I'm good at...
I like to believe I am good at showing a certain amount of tact and providing a detailed explanation of the way the story I reviewed has made me feel. I do my best to always be up lifting and courteous as I'd want the same for myself. I will not pat you on the head for things you have not done well, and for your sake as a writer, I like to believe my honesty will help you progress just as all writers do.
Favorite Genres
Any writing that is surrounded in deep introspective thought and intellect. I will always appreciate a person who thinks out of the box and shares a message of a life perhaps many have misunderstood.
Least Favorite Genres
I don't like stories that flow in a mixed up pattern. I supposed I have an eye for a story that people gave no thought into. Living the unfinished projects life, I have learned what to look for.
Favorite Item Types
Psychological thrillers with plot twists. Dark poetry. Abstract lyrics and thoughts revolving around very deep and unspoken emotions of anger and misunderstanding.
Least Favorite Item Types
Raunchy and un needed Pornographic works. Or items which regard a mass of blood shed and topics like rape and such that serve no purpose or message.
I will not review...
There is not much that I will not review if requested, and even less that I'd not give you feed back on.. Regardless of erotica content or not, If I am asked to review something.. Just expect my honest Opinion.. I will let you know if I am in belief about the size of that guys "ego". Or even if she dropped the pen on purpose. I will even let you know that i love what you've written, but don't think a plumber would get to her house that fast. Try me on.. I will review anything
Public Reviews
1
1
Rated: E | (3.0)
I love the general gist of this. Very descriptive emotions for such a short thought.

It drew me in quick and held my interest to read to the finish to see the over all question. However I will say also, The rhyming was not fluid and for such a short piece, I did get a little lost more then once. I am a bit under the weather so at current, Please use your own judgements to correct or leave the same.

When I did get lost it was because I was trying to determine whether or not this was a rhyming poem; Or a brief monologue from a character.

I'm sure if it does need any work that I haven't noted You will find it. The word use in it is great regardless.

Sincerely Nocturne E. Vladash.
2
2
Rated: E | (3.0)
I will be messaging you soon, I am working on a response to your Hypothesis and wish to discuss this topic with you further. I am writing a document to send you which wouldn't make a good review but a great bit of history and many things regarding this very topic I have researched.

Sincerely Nine.

You are doing well. Though, some parts of this made me lose understanding of which theory you supported.
3
3
Review of Spring Romance  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Most of the time i avoid small passages like this, though this one is subtle and sweet with reason. As i feel springs little moments just like this writing is something short and simple. Powerful with the right water. This piece is well done, all i can think of regarding anything on a negative side, is I feel that some point in this day, You let your smile fade over something completely silly. So Smile alittle bit later when your ready and smile more and more!

Sincerely
-Nine
4
4
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I had to restrain my self.. Felt ... Urge to "I'M NOT YOUR FELLOW BUDDY!"

*cough* I have taken a look into these below written options. I just can't make sense of how on earth i'd do a plug.

Sincerely
-Nine
5
5
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is great that you wrote this, and i had found it. Just tonight i was talking to my wife, about a friend of mine that was murdered when i was younger. I had told her that one thought that always destroyed me, was "What was going through his mind right before he died." I would instantly cry the moment it crossed mine. Until one day i thought of what my friend would honestly say in my situation.
'Probably a Bullet" and i'd chuckle, and i felt he would have had a chuckle as well. Though a bit morbid, this small joke helped me understand my friend the way he was, not the way he died. So it was a prolific story for me to read just now. Thank you.

Sincerely
-Nine.
6
6
Review of I Want To  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
If you wish to be a beacon of hope, sit back and prepare to be amazed.. You are already doing it. No need to be a policeman. Very few will ever realize, they are people who must abide by laws just as we... But you.. Look, you have a gift that is becoming forgotten. To write.. youa re gifted with an ability to not only read, but to create a world at will. Desrcibe things that people will never be able to define. Trust me, as a writer you are one of the very few beacons of hope this world has left.

Sincerely

-Nine

(P.S.)

Harriett Beecher Stowe wrote the book "Uncle Tom's Cabin."

Many have claimed this book started the Civil War by opening eyes to the violence of slavery and Lynchings. The pen will always be mightier then the sword, cause while a blade shed's the blood of many.. The pen molds minds of Millions.
7
7
Rated: E | (5.0)
Grateful there is a writing out there like this.
I appreciate it an empathize. I hope one day more people will thrive to understand topics such as this.

Surrendering is often never an option, and those who believe it is, will never see the end.

All i'd say about this is.. Keep writing and Never give up!

Sincerely
-Nine
8
8
Review of Sheild  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
It's funny because i think i just reviewed either the original or Rendition of this piece about an hour ago. This version that you wrote when you were Sixteen is much better and filled with more description and raw emotion. If the last writing i saw of this was a remake... In my opinion you should ditch that one and expand on this one. Often a story i find, is not ever improved by removing the pieces the author thinks is garbage. You are not writing the story for you.. You are simply painting the picture with words and your soul to show others the stories that normal people can't tell.

Sincerely
-Nine


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
9
9
Review of Slipping  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very sincere and deep thoughts, showing the fragileness of a heart. Shatters like glass in those moments we thought it was once made of Iron, only to know that we were weaker then we had ever thought. The details behind this poetry are magnificent and descriptive of the up down emotion after heart break "I can't give up.. I can't take it"

The conflict of love is as old as time itself.. Give it time and you will feel better. This write is perfect, Please keep up the good work. Once last suggestion though, Is perhaps write another poem, describing what you see when you look at yourself.

Sincerely
-Nine
10
10
Review of Faces Plenty  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I like this one alot.
I feel it has a very genuine and dramatic use of colorful words that can promote deep thoughts and feelings. I feel though it falls short of the style in which you have written it.

This one could easily still be written as a poem, even if it hadn't been written in a poem format, because this poem is more then a poem. This one in my eyes does portray a very vivid story.

For now just focus on which poems you'd truly want to look like a spine or do you want them to look like a story. As the only thing that through me off... Was the format in which you had chosen to write the letters in.

Sincerely
-Nine
11
11
Review of Creation  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a brilliant piece. My first morning read but some of its descriptive value represents many of my thoughts.

Through out this whole segment you ended it on the note that i liked the most. The Ink of voice, was a beautiful and well thought out description of creation as one who creates knows the pen will always be mightier than the sword. Well done, i personally can see nothing wrong with this work, but it is also first thing in the morning, coffee cup is at half capacity. Have a great morning. Thank you for the stunning visuals to start the day.

-Sincerely
Nine
12
12
Review of Time  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This was a splendid read. It described how many may feel about time. Interesting choice in Babylon as well as the tower of Babel is said to be where our languages had become all seperate because of Nimrod and his risky arrow aimed at God.

I can appreciate though how you have personafied her. The way though in which you did it really reminded me of Dorian Gray as most may be quaint to the Illusion that Time is a beautiful thing, when many don't realize, Time is the only thing that kills us.

Only Critique i would say was simply two or three spelling errors and such, so in short, next time maybe just double proof read to be sure you got the splinters. Other then that Excellent description.

Sincerely
-Nine

"That Cat"
-Kevin F. Dunn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
13
13
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

So final thoughts on this series is that i do see you are creating a very political piece. If i understand correctly you have very intense Climactic scenes prepared. What i think is going on after looking into it and why i may be having trouble focusing. Is in fact not only because of the dialogue or lack of action. I feel now that you may be Leaving Vital plot pieces unpolished.

I can already see what this story can one day develope into. Something very similar to a mix of Game of thrones and Bram stokers Dracula is kind of what i see. A heavy mix of politics and the Supernatural. I can even see the bigger picture in which your trying to portray. Heavy betrayals. Infact i'm willing to bet the reason you've focused on the talking so much may have to do with the fact that when a character dies. You want your reader heavily invested in their well being. Correct me if i'm wrong, this is merely my own Connection of the dots. Either way. I do think if that's the road you're taking, then you are doing fine. The dailogue is fluid and well spoken. All that you need, to tie this all together, is life around and behind the characters. At one part you said 'And he looked out the window" or something similar. Next maybe mention just a brief and quick "As he looked out, his brows furrowed as he saw the beggar wandering around the streets/ ETC." These are needed because it no longer just shows who this person is infront of the king.. But tells you who they actually are. These little details and very tiny things, actually will make your reader more invested and make it alot less work, as small acts of kindness or goodness, Show better to a person how they want to feel for the character. To most Dialogue becomes a strategy. You have done very well. I really look forward to your response and Hope to one day maybe see this Edited, fixed up and On shelves. You have Golden potential here, but you must correct it in a way that suits not only your taste or your readers.. But to the book in which your writing.
Great read though so far.

-Sincerely

Nine
14
14
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Chapter Two review:

I saw Many improvements, but still many things that i would want to improve if i had written this.
Firstly i commend your ability in Hypnosis to create this world. It is Vivid at least to me. But not one person will ever read the same book. But i do see something pretty miraculous.

At first my minds eye only wanted to see everything in some kind of crimson red. Almost an Alien like place. In my review notes on my personal Word pad i had written the question.
"Is it actually red like this. I developed the vision after the mentioning of the Rubies in the pillars."
Also i believe some of the original names you had created really gave it this picture for me.

The Turquoise blanket really lifted alot of the red. It was a beautiful mental sight to behold. I kind of watched this completely red chamber they were in blossom with a dozen other colors after the mentioning of the blanket.

Once more, Only My opinion. The Dialogue perhaps is not always my kind of story. often i fill my tales with 'Suddenly's" and "Unexpectadly's" So obviously my opinions are unintentionally biased. My whole life though i have been picky about any book that i read. I would Simply try and give the back ground more life. Its a kingdom, so there is much much more i'd assume going on around. Often when tried to picture if, i could not see the intended structure because of lack in static characters. Though your descriptions are Spot on and beautifully done. It still lacks the depth that goes beyond the characters but unveils so much more about who these people are.

I will Give just like previously a 3 star rating. With no intended harm. The Dialogue lasting through two chapters simply makes it difficult for me to read. This your world though. If it is the way you wish it to be, Then i find no reasons to change it. Though my brain has troubles. I still find it very beautiful. I do find myself feeling closer to each character which is a plus.

On to the Chapter Three.
15
15
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Chapter one review. Forgive me if i a miss a few marks. i am terribly tired.

These are things i specifically appreciated in your writings.
-The Knack for your own created language is apparent. i to do the same thing. You will see this after you read "Godhand"

- i really loved that the devil had a grandfather.
-Somethings though that i think need some minor adjustments.. Is perhaps to throw in Minor actions inebetween a little more often. Something to draw back peoples focus if they find themselves wandering.

Many times in the story, it was strictly dialogue. I have mixed feelings about this.

For most they may find this approach a terrible way to hook someones attention. Though there are very many people who will find an intellectual medicine the best approach.

Sometimes less is more. Remove a few words perhaps, or rearrange a couple phrases while possibly putting some background action in a present state which is more colorful.

On my way to review the others. For this chapter i will give you a 3 star rating. However. I will also Give you 50 Gift points for being one of the better and longer written stories i have read.

Sincerely
-Nine
16
16
Review of Let us be alive !  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very detailed and thought out. Simply by the read alone i am able to tell this is a common knowledge with you. A deep rooted belief system as well as a strong faith you are built Upon. Short but very well written. I appreciate that you were able to use both words "Evolution" and "Amen" in the same topic. It shows you have a free mind that is built to right and spread the word of Knowledge and Spiritual Advancement. Well done.

Sincerely
-Nine
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