This is pretty intriguing,but it feels like a small part of a bigger story and its kind of offputting.
It also uses a lot of syntax and accronyms which are kind of hard to keep track of.
ive been raised religious,and so obviously i am religious
I always find myself logically coming to the conclusion of God
but I feel like when I look for a relationship he is silent which causes be to doubt
lovely writing
good grammar
overall great work
this is a lovely poem!
i really enjoyed reading it
I hope you continue writing poems and short stories
id love to hear what inspired you to write this
do you have personal experiences in this topic?
this poem also feels a little bit objectifying (could be wrong) but I'm not entirely sure what the meaning behind this poem is
despite this story starting with a premis that is incredibly simple
I am still growing and have grown to enjoy it,the previous mentions of sam's obsession allow you to see things through his fogged perspective
and even though he's not the main love interest,I feel bad for him
I was such a shame should be it was such a shame in chapter 2 and intersection should be an intersection in chapter 3
in chapter 4 I think the theater kids scene was very grounded in stereotypes and if re-written could come off as a little bit less cringy
I'm enjoying the story and will let you know what I think about chapters 5-8 when I get through them
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