This is CUTE and sad. I like the simplistic writing and I can practically picture a five year old saying this. The poem oozes raw innocence and its no-frills approach really works with such a theme. Short and subtle but strong enough. The ending was rather abrupt though; one moment the reader is enjoying reading about this ol' Grandpa and suddenly we get to know he's no more. But somehow it works because of the five year old's precise voice.
It's a great poem. Write on!
Cheers.
It's short but beautiful. I loved it. I'm truly sorry about your loss. Maybe the reason why this touched me so much was because I could relate to it somewhat; I lost my father two years back and you've just put all of my emotions about it into poetry here. In any case, it was heartfelt and touching and I'm pretty sure your mother's up there smiling at you and missing you as much. Have faith in life.
Cheers and take care.
Ps- Probably it's a typo on your part but you missed out an apostrophe in the third last line; it should be 'it's'.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/eternalcandle
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 1:18pm on Nov 10, 2024 via server WEBX1.